It's time, once again, to name and shame the week's biggest pussies.
Cry-Baby #1: Samuel Drew
Screencaps via WCTI12 (via Reddit)
The incident: A dog got in a man's way while he was walking over a bridge.
The appropriate response: Stepping around or over it, depending on the size of the dog.
The actual response: He picked up the dog and threw it off the bridge.
Last Saturday, 36-year-old Samuel Drew was walking in New Bern, North Carolina.
As he was walking across the town's Alfred A Cunningham drawbridge, two dogs started following him.
According to New Bern Police, a witness saw Samuel pick up one of the dogs (a hound mix, pictured above) and throw it off the side of the bridge. It fell 20 feet into the water below.
A couple who were in their boat spotted Samuel throwing the dog into the water, and were able to save it.
Police say Samuel tried to throw a second dog, a pit bull, but was unable to catch it before being stopped by police.
The hound, along with the pit bull, were taken in by Animal Control. The hound is being quarantined for ten days, as it bit someone during its rescue.
When asked why he'd thrown the dog by a reporter, he said, "Because it got in the way."
Samuel is currently being held on a $5,000 secure bond. If convicted, he faces up to ten years in prison.
Cry-Baby #2: Kimberly Hall
The incident: A woman thought that some girls her sons were friends with on Facebook were dressed too provocatively.
The appropriate response: Nothing. Maybe making sure the girls are of the same age.
The actual response: She blocked all of her sons' friends she thought were too slutty. Like, from her sons' profiles.
Last week, Christian blogger Kimberly Hall wrote a blog post called "FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)".
The blog post, which is an open letter, is addressed to the female friends of her three teenage sons.
She opens the letter with the super creepy revelation that she and her family sometimes spend the evening looking through the Facebook pictures of her sons' female friends, "Dear girls, I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos."
However, recently she has been noticing a startling, slutty new trend with the photos teenage girls are posting: "It appears that you are not wearing a bra. I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout. What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.
Then she drops some hard biology facts on the reader, "I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel," she continued. "Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t ever un-see it? You don’t want the Hall boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you? Neither do we."
And this left her with only one choice: to block any girl that she sees posting anything she deems as being inappropriate. "And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent. If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – you’ll be booted off our online island."
For some reason, she thinks this is punishment for the blocked girls, as being blocked by her means they will never get a chance to be married to one of her three super-desirable sons, "There are boys out there waiting and hoping for women of character. Some young men are fighting the daily uphill battle to keep their minds pure, and their thoughts praiseworthy."
But there's hope. She ends the letter, which, amazingly, is accompanied by a picture of her sons with no shirts on, by offering the women who haven't yet been blocked a chance to redeem themselves: "Girls, it’s not too late! If you think you’ve made an online mistake (we all do – don’t fret – I’ve made some doozies), RUN to your accounts and take down anything that makes it easy for your male friends to imagine you naked in your bedroom."
So, if anyone reading this is friends with any of these kids, what are you waiting for? RUN and delete those pictures of yourselves in towels and pyjamas. If you play your cards right, maybe you can one day have a fucking psychopath as a mother-in-law.
Which of these loons is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll right here:
Previously: Some police who arrested a 10-year-old girl for playing doctor Vs. An entitled charity worker.
Winner: The police who arrested a 10-year-old girl for playing doctor!!!