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My House Was Stolen Piece by Piece and Replaced with a Cornfield

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This just in from Romania: Last May, Andy Pascali from Bucharest drove to his summer house in Brăila county. When he arrived, the house wasn't there. Apparently, in the few months Andy hadn't visited the area, someone disassembled the property piece by piece, leaving room for his neighbour to plant a cornfield in its place.

The other week, Andy decided to rant about his misfortune on Faceboook:



His status writes: ”If you happen to have a summer house in the mountains, you should go check that it's still there. I drove to my house in the countryside and all I found in its place was a cornfield. I don't mean that the corn was covering the house from my line of sight – I mean that it was literally covering the place where my house used to be.”

I called Andy to ask why it took him two months to do anything about his missing house.

VICE: It's one of those instances, when you don't know if you should be laughing or crying.
Andy Pascali:
I'm not upset – I haven't even tried to find out who did it until now. I'm lucky, because I live in Bucharest and have two houses – I have all I need. What I don't like is this random disrespect. Why would you do that to a house that doesn't belong to you?

How did you find out your house was missing?
I've built this house for my dad, and I usually drive him there. So last time I drove him there, at the beginning of May, I found a pile of gravel and a few stones instead of my house. But I couldn't find the time to make a formal complaint with the police until now. If nobody reports this kind of crime, the thieves will just keep doing it. I hope the police catch them.

How big is the damage?
The house was more of lodge – you couldn't live in it all year round. But it had an iron frame and OSB walls. There was a fountain in the garden, and they even removed the cement tubing from it and filled it with earth and garbage. They stole the fence, everything. They cut whatever they could with a blowtorch and left a pile of gravel behind.

I mean, even if it wasn't a great house, it was still worth about 6,800 Euros [that's the price of a new car in Romania]. The house had electricity and all that's left is the 12-meter posts on which I put the power lines, which cost me 270 Euros [that is a little over the medium wage in Romania].

Did you ask around to find out who did this?
The house was broken into before in 1996. Back then, they stole the fridge with everything that was in it. I look at the people living in that village and see that they don't have jobs – poverty is very high there. The house is in the village but not in the middle of it, and the neighbours aren't so close. The guy that lives most near me said that he bought the land last fall and that nobody lived there over the winter, so he hadn't seen anything.

But isn't that the guy who planted corn on your land?
It's complicated. He used my posts to get access to the power lines – I had said that was ok. When I went there two months ago to find my house was missing, he offered to help me remove the garbage. Then he asked me if he could plant corn there, but I said that I would have to think about it – I didn't give him an ok. He still did it, though. I am not upset that he planted corn, but... where's my house? The missing house is my problem, not the corn.

How come you only wrote about it on Facebook now?
I didn't do it in a “look at me, I'm the victim” kind of way, but as a warning. So many people have houses in the mountains. They should watch out, you never know when you might wake up to find it missing.

More from Romania:

Vama Veche Is a Paradise

Romanian Liberals Love Europe So Much They Want to Change Time Zones


A Bum Without a Country

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Photos by Atossa Araxia Abrahamian

In 1863, Edward Everett Hale published a short story called “The Man Without a Country”. It’s a cautionary tale about one Philip Nolan, a US Army lieutenant who renounces America in a fit of rage. In response, a judge orders that he spend the rest of his days at sea, floating from ship to ship, without any news from his country. Nolan begins the journey unrepentantly, but as time passes, statelessness wears on him. He misses his homeland more than he longs for his family or the touch of dry land. Just before his burial at sea, he requests that a gravestone be placed in his honour: “In memory of Philip Nolan, Lieutenant in the Army of the United States. He loved his country as no other man has loved her; but no man deserved less at her hands.”

The old “man without a country” yarn has been updated drastically since Hale’s day. Turning your back on your homeland, in real life or in fiction, is no longer an earth-shattering divorce with almost biblical consequences – it’s common (or at least not uncommon) for people to live abroad, hold dual or triple citisenships or cut ties with their native country altogether. As markets and technologies around us become more global, it’s only natural for people to globalise too.

What most people don’t do is formally sever their national ties and strike out on their own as a nation of one. Even in our so-called flat world, where free trade and lightning-quick communications make physical borders seem like a vestige of the pre-digital past, the fabric of our existence remains a patchwork of nations. Citizenship is fundamental, and those who are legally stateless are usually destitute and disenfranchised, with their right to nationality withheld by a repressive regime or through draconian bureaucratic error. Large intergovernmental organisations dedicate themselves to helping these ex-citizens reestablish their statehood. Statelessness is simply not a position anyone freely chooses to adopt.

There is one notable exception to this rule: Mike Gogulski, a 41-year-old hacker, anarchist and former US citizen. In late 2008, he walked into the US embassy in Bratislava, Slovakia, and renounced his citizenship; later he burned his passport in defiance. He is, in all likelihood, the only person alive today to have successfully made himself stateless of his own accord.

Today, he’s an online activist who writes on anarchy-related topics like the ailing crypto-currency Bitcoin and the now defunct underground marketplace Silk Road through his blog, nostate.com. I first encountered Gogulski’s work in 2011, when I was researching citizenship renunciation. The number of US citizens giving up their passports was – and still is – on the rise: Government records show that renunciations jumped from a few hundred each year to more than 3,000 in the four-year stretch before 2013. This is mostly due to new tax laws that require US citizens to report their bank accounts and income on a yearly basis whether they live in the States or not.

But Gogulski’s motives were different: The way he sees it, he wasn’t consulted about being an American in the first place. “Would I willingly enter into a relationship with the US government for any reason other than if someone pointed a gun at me? No way,” he told me over glasses of whiskey and cans of beer at Progressbar, a local hacker space in Bratislava where he hangs out. Gogulski – who grew up by an orange grove in the suburb of Winter Park, Florida – sees no point in participating in democracy, period. “The sales pitch that goes with democracy is people can vote to choose the government they want, but that’s a lie,” he explained, pacing around the room. “We might get to tinker around the margins, but the central organism of states – which is murder, robbery, rape – continues on.”

It’s hard to argue with this assessment, but going stateless presents more challenges than it really solves. The main problem is mobility: A stateless person can travel in Europe under the EU’s free-movement laws, but he can’t go outside the so-called Schengen Area without procuring a visa, a process that can take months of administrative hassle. The other problem is the paperwork: Without citizenship, everyday tasks like obtaining a driver’s licence or opening a bank account are much more of an ordeal than they normally would be, and there’s rarely a “stateless” box in drop-down menus or government forms. What’s more, people without a country can’t claim any protection from a government if they get into trouble abroad (though what is “abroad” when you’re from nowhere? The semantics of statehood surround us).

It isn’t a stretch to conceive of Gogulski’s conscientious statelessness as offensive, even inconsiderate: the moral mission of an intransigent white American manarchist acting from a position of relative privilege. If a female Bangladeshi garment worker did the same thing, would anyone notice?

Gogulski acknowledges that his situation is nothing like that of other stateless people. He sees his move as an act of solidarity. “Citizenship is a tool of class division, a tool of hierarchy, an instrument of social control,” he told me. “There is no equality between citizens and non-citizens.”

The truth is, you can only be so free of the state. To get around, Gogulski uses a stateless person’s document issued by the Slovak authorities and an EU residency card, which looks like a driver’s licence. There’s a certain irony to his predicament. He wants, like so many citizens who are disgusted with their governments, to break free of the clutches of state power. In particular, he wants to extricate himself from the atrocities wrought by the United States and his statelessness is an extreme form of conscientious objection. But by going stateless, he has put himself in the position of having neither king nor country nor means of leaving the EU. There are many ways of describing the predicament Gogulski’s gotten himself into, but there’s one that’s a bit clearer than the others: On paper, he has pretty much fucked himself.

Bratislava, Slovakia, where former US citizen Mike Gogulski has been living as a stateless man

Talking to him, you’d never notice that Gogulski’s spent a decade outside the United States. His accent is vaguely East Coastal, he picks up on the vast majority of mainstream American pop-cultural references, and he follows US news as much as the next guy. He’s about 180 centimetres t tall and balding, with the physique of a formerly skinny computer nerd entering middle age after a lifetime of Funyuns and Jolt. On a good day, he’s warm, affable and bursting with ideas that veer toward the conspiratorial. He’s also bipolar and prone to dizzying highs and plunging lows during which he barely communicates with anyone, let alone gets out of bed. For about three weeks before I was due to pay him a visit, my frantic emails, calls and text messages went unanswered. That month, he later told me, was a low one.

But over the first long weekend we spent together in Bratislava, Gogulski was in fine form. He chain-smoked Philip Morris cigarettes he gets for a little more than two euros  and he easily drained a bottle of whiskey over the course of our first evening. When the whiskey was close to done, he began rooting through a drawer for weed. When he finally found a nugget of pot buried in a large bag of condoms, he fashioned a pipe out of a beer can.

Gogulski is something of a local celebrity on the hacker-anarchist circuit. This is certainly due to his statelessness: He receives two or three inquiring emails from would-be renouncers every month, most of them Americans. He’s also known as a player in the Bitcoin community. To pay his bills, he operates a Bitcoin-laundering, or “mixing”, application that adds a layer of anonymity to the crypto-currency’s digital trail.

Gogulski had a brush with the law shortly after dropping out of Orlando College, when he got busted for “phreaking”, or stealing, tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of long-distance calling minutes from local businesses to communicate with other hackers. His 1992 arrest seems lifted from a stoner comedy: He was set up by an undercover cop posing as a Domino’s deliverywoman and charged with a felony under the Florida Communications Fraud Act. “It was fucked. Crazy. It’s a terrible feeling, being on the front page of the paper along with news about the California race riots. I thought I was going to prison,” he recalls. His father sold his coin and stamp collections to pay for a lawyer, who got Gogulski a plea deal. As part of his 100 hours of community service, he lectured rooms full of cops about “hacker mentality”.

It might seem that a stateless person is outside the jurisdiction of all countries, but Gogulski is not exempt from international law. Osama bin Laden, for instance, was rendered stateless after Saudi Arabia revoked his nationality in 1994; he still managed to be the most wanted man in the world (in fact, al Qaeda’s lack of affiliation with a nation-state is frequently cited as its most insidious quality).

The Slovak authorities can treat Gogulski the same way they would any other resident. But it isn’t clear what kind of jurisdiction the US still has. He says he’s encouraged by the lack of extraditions from Slovakia to the United States, but he’s closely watching the recent spate of Bitcoin-related arrests. “I’m aware that I may have to shut the Bitcoin laundry down any day now,” he said just weeks before the Mt. Gox Bitcoin exchange closed, causing millions of dollars’ worth of Bitcoins to disappear. In early March, Gogulski said his business was unaffected by the drama. “Nothing new to report,” he wrote in an email. “I’m scratching by.”

Gogulski, who renounced his US citizenship in 2008 in protest of his former country’s actions around the world

Becoming stateless isn’t a common way for activists to make a statement, but it has been done before: Garry Davis, a World War II pilot and former Broadway actor, became a well-known antiwar activist when he decided to renounce all ties to the United States in 1948. He came to his decision after bombing the shit out of Germany and losing his brother in battle; when the conflict ended, Davis declared himself “World Citizen Number One” and remained without a country until he died last summer at the age of 91. Davis was a product of shellshock and the heady days of postwar internationalism, dedicating his life to promoting a “world government”, crashing the United Nations with the likes of Albert Camus to make speeches, camping out in embassies and consulates and landing in jail more than a few times for crossing borders into countries illegally.

Gogulski has nothing but respect for Davis, but he’s no proponent of the Esperanto-inflected One Worldism that Davis espoused. Gogulski identifies as an anarchist and an agorist – he’d like to see a world without centralised government, period. In his view, if left to their own devices, people would organise into smaller, more equitable, less oppressive communities that would enable humanity to flourish beyond our wildest dreams – a hopeful, if naive, perspective. “I’ve somehow kept believing that people actually do have the capacity to get ourselves out of the nasty corners we’ve painted ourselves into,” he said, referring, among other things, to violence, war, surveillance and submission. “It’s the authoritarian mind-set. The notion that obedience is a virtue. It doesn’t take a particularly smart or thoughtful person to look at both history and the current times to realise that people are being obedient to awful things and stupid people and that the potential in them will not be realised if they keep serving these evil constructs.”

The roots of Gogulski’s version of this idealised vision of a stateless society can be traced to the utopian descriptions of a borderless future that emerged in the early days of the web. He is a product of these philosophies: He started logging on to murky BBS and Usenet bulletin boards in the 80s and early 90s, exploring politics, libertarianism and drug legalisation. All this was catnip for a Ritalin-addled kid entranced by science fiction and stifled by muggy Floridian suburbia. At the time, it seemed to early adopters that the internet could render governments and nation-states obsolete and that high-tech communications and crypto-currencies would soon lift humans from their terrestrial existence into a more elevated state of being. The sci-fi author Neal Stephenson wrote novels that prominently featured crypto-currencies; his characters existed in a post-national world where large corporations stepped in and took control where individual states had failed. His was a dystopian vision that John Perry Barlow, who founded the civil libertarian Electronic Frontier Foundation, translated into something more positive in his 1996 “Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace”.

“Governments of the Industrial World, you weary giants of flesh and steel, I come from Cyberspace, the new home of Mind,” reads the opening sentence. “We have no elected government, nor are we likely to have one… I declare the global social space we are building to be naturally independent of the tyrannies you seek to impose on us.”

Again, it’s a nice thought. But in retrospect, it’s insane to think that the existence of a decentralised information technology alone could dismantle centuries-old power structures in the real world. The same fallacious thinking afflicts proponents of crypto-currencies and those who believe that social media can liberate powerless, voiceless peoples. For a mind-set built on a deep mistrust of the state, it doesn’t seem to fully realise, or acknowledge, the enormousness of what it’s up against.

This no-state philosophy, broadly writ, is experiencing something of a revival today. It’s what inspired the development and massive popularity of Bitcoin and other crypto-currencies; it’s the same motive that led Peter Thiel to fund the Seasteading Institute, a group that promotes the creation of new cities on floating platforms in international waters. Going back a bit further, it’s the idea behind the data company HavenCo moving onto Sealand – an abandoned World War II sea fort off the coast of Great Britain – in the early 2000s to defy state control of its servers. The problem with these philosophies isn’t that they seek to abolish, or challenge, the state; it’s that, in their current incarnation, they appeal mostly to individuals like Gogulski, who by accident of birth start off on top of the global pile. They aren’t solutions that management consultants would characterise as “scalable”; rather, they’re limited, solipsistic. That makes ideologies like Gogulski’s more symbolic than globally meaningful.

“What is the provocation of Gogulski doing this now? I always fall back on the fact that no nation-state is really promising anyone a future,” said Eugene Holland, a professor at the Ohio State University and the author of Nomad Citizenship, a book about alternative, post-national forms of belonging. “It’s a stalling of the nation-state as a horizon for progressive change that’s bringing about these movements.”

I asked Holland what he thought a personal renunciation of statehood could change. Holland laughed. “It’s a dramatic gesture and a personal sacrifice that makes a point, and underscores the degree to which we are unfree because of the way the nation-state monopolises citizenship and controls movement,” he said. “But it can’t change anything. Symbolically, that’s where I think Gogulski is successful. But materially, he’s only sacrificed his own freedom. Which is noble. But it’s not a positive contribution to anyone.”

Citizen of the world Garry Davis holding his identification card. Photo by Yale Joel/Time Life Pictures/Getty Images

Gogulski landed in Bratislava in 2004 when his girlfriend at the time, Stephanie Wilbur, found a job teaching English. It was around then that he began considering his politics more closely. “It was a brutal time in the history of America when we left, with Abu Ghraib on TV, these wars, the death and destruction and all the tax money going there to pay for it,” Wilbur recalled. “We didn’t want to be part of it anymore. And when we moved, politics started to be a much bigger part of Mike’s life… probably because he had more time.” Stephanie ended up leaving Bratislava the following year – she wanted to see the world, travel more – but Gogulski, she said, had decided that he’d seen enough, so he stayed behind and worked a series of contract jobs doing systems administration for multinational companies. By mid 2008, Gogulski’s frustrations with the US had reached a boiling point – “when the soup starts spattering all over the stove” is his preferred analogy – so he decided the only way to stay true to his anarchist ideals was to become stateless and blog about it for the world to see.

His friends all point to his unrelenting sense of justice when explaining what motivates his decisions. “His ethics are so visceral that he can’t be strategic,” said William Gillis, who volunteers with Gogulski at the Center for a Stateless Society, a think tank that promotes “market anarchism”, a political philosophy that attempts to reconcile kibbutz-style self-organising with Austrian-inflected free-market ideologies. “He went through an extraordinary process so the US would recognise him as no longer being a citizen. Plenty of people defy the state, but Mike was the only person to figure it out and do it all the way. And he’s made enormous sacrifices.”

“It’s a more personal question that you don’t want to be party to the things done in your name, whether it’s blowing up wedding ceremonies or literally millions of other atrocities,” Arto Bendiken, a close friend of Gogulski’s who lives in Berlin, explained to me over Skype. “It’s not that it could affect anyone outside himself, but from his personal moral standpoint he had to opt out of the system.”

When I asked Gogulski whether he had any regrets about his move, he looked baffled. “How can you regret the person that you have become?” he said. The only things he claims to miss about the United States are Mexican food and 24-hour breakfast. “There’s a special place in my heart for the likes of Denny’s and Waffle House,” he said. “It’s amazing. A place where you can get omelets and eggs and greasy hash-brown goodness at any time of day? In the middle of nowhere?”

Gogulski’s cat, Charlie, and his EU pet passport

For all his symbolic gestures and rage, Gogulski’s life is pretty staid. “I’m more or less content to be here,” he said. “I live in my own head, pretty much.” Last summer, he married his partner, Eva, in a non-civil, non-religious ceremony at Progressbar (Gogulski was married once before in the US; he and his ex-wife split in 2000 and have a daughter, but he has no contact with either of them). As the bride and groom left the party, their friends and family threw hot dog buns instead of flowers – a symbol, in the parody religion of Discordianism, of all the foods that are forbidden at some point during the calendar year by the world’s major religions (by all accounts, Gogulski is nothing if not contrarian).

Gogulski and Eva live together in his rented flat, which happens to be across the street from the International Organisation for Migration, the UN’s agency for displaced and stateless persons. It’s cramped and cluttered and dusty, and smells strongly of smoke and faintly of cat piss. Eva is Slovak through and through; she works at the Chinese embassy, processing visas and other paperwork. The breed and the provenance of the cat, Charlie, are unknown, but even he has an EU pet passport, which lists his name, sex and date of birth.

Gogulski spends most of his time in the combined bedroom/living room, rarely getting out of bed until the late afternoon and tinkering away at one of the nine computers he has on at a given time. He may have said goodbye to the US years ago, but his circadian rhythm remains firmly pegged to East Coast time. Eva’s 16-year-old daughter, who lives nearby, occasionally joins them for dinner; her two Chihuahuas make frequent appearances and they have a hairless kitten named Anubis on the way. “I’m going to call him Nube,” Gogulski declared gleefully.

Gogulski existence is telling – not because it’s exciting (quite the contrary) but because it suggests a way of living outside, or at least on the fringes of, ordinary social and economic life while remaining in a technologically advanced urban environment. He doesn’t have a country, a job or a boss; he earns an income mostly from hosting ads on his website and the commissions he charges for the Bitcoin laundering. He doesn’t have a local bank account and pays for things entirely in cash or Bitcoin. His attempts to exist outside the confines of the traditional nation-state are, by some measures, successful: He’s living a sort of urban Into the Wild (a copy of the book lay on his table, but he said he hadn’t read it yet). But for now, it’s just that – a suggestion of a possibility of a way of existing and a dystopian one at that. That’s not Gogulski’s fault: He’s stuck in a situation where his ideals are so radically incompatible with the status quo that there’s only so much he can do. His efforts in the face of utter futility are admirable – but practically speaking, the results are a little depressing.

“[Gogulski] is one of many people who have thought about the modern state and rejected a lot of the assumptions on which it’s based,” said James Grimmelmann, a law professor at the University of Maryland who’s studied techno-utopian secession. “This idea that government is despotism goes way back. But it’s taken a very modern form through technology. You can draw a line between [renouncing citizenship] and Bitcoin and the people who have data-haven dreams. All of these are efforts to make it possible to hide from the power of the state.”

Vinay Gupta, a friend of Gogulski’s who officiated at his wedding, sees him as a pioneer. “He’s showing that it’s possible to make a living entirely as a stateless individual operating in a non-state economic instrument,” he told me over Skype. “If he hadn’t gotten himself out of nation-state economies he’d be the equivalent of a champagne socialist – he’d still be supported by stuff he wanted to be free of.”

This vision, on paper, is resolutely radical. It hints at a totally new way of existing in the world, and it’s certainly a novel way to tell the world to fuck off completely. But it has flaws: Bitcoin, for starters, has proved itself to be neither as secure nor as anonymous as its proponents believed. Before the great Bitcoin crash of 2014, Gogulski and his cohort were already speaking about the currency as somehow passé – they saw Bitcoin less as a practical achievement than as a theoretical shape of things to come. There’s no doubt that crypto-currencies will become more advanced and allow for a growing number of decentralised transactions between people all over the world. But the technical limitations of today’s options put a damper on just how removed from the state Gogulski can truly be.

The stateless future may very well be on the horizon. But in real life, in 2014, there just isn’t that much to see. Gogulski is stateless and in Bratislava, but for all intents and purposes, he could be anywhere. He does not sail the seven seas, adrift and forced to face his actions like the fictional Lieutenant Philip Nolan. He does not embark on journeys around the world to make a point about the arbitrariness of borders, like Garry Davis. Gogulski can’t leave Europe and, by his own admission, doesn’t much want to. He doesn’t need the world. He has the internet, his community; an abiding hope that technology can set us all free; a cat who has a passport; and a wife who processes visas for a living.

Is this the utopian future we’ve all been waiting for?

I Probably Hate You: An Interview with Steak Mtn.

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Steak Mtn. is a New York-based artist, illustrator, graphic designer, set builder and porno director. He's an artist who seems to take any paying job without becoming a whore to random masters. Instead, his willingness to do different things that come along seem to only show off the versatility of his aesthetic flavour. I learned a lot from his art at an age when I was looking to be informed. It was fun to get to ask him about his stuff. 

VICE: When did you start making art? Did you start with drawing or something else?
Steak Mtn:
I grew up in Salem, Massachusetts. There used to be a drawing show for kids on TV that aired very early in the morning called The Nature World of Captain Bob (also titled Drawing from Nature). I think it was made in Boston, because no one in the rest of the country knows what the fuck I am talking about when I mention it.

But that's exactly where my interest in art started. The personality and details of that show are the absolute root of where some of my aesthetic touches and interests come from – the washed-out and fuzzy-video look of the programme, the amazing fonts on the title card and a creepy opening sequence that had this fantastically underlit pan of a miniature sea shanty in a murky puddle. I still use that as a mental example of the perfect atmosphere to try and attain in the Steak work.

You say "the Steak work" like it's by another person.
I always think of Steak that way. Always. From 1996 to 2001 I used the name the Amputees to imply that there was more than one artist involved. I made up two characters, Roland Scagnetti and Judy Riley, for if and when someone asked who the Amputees were.

The Scagnetti persona was a German exchange student I “met” in high school, and he did all the illustrations and liked skulls a lot. Judy did all the font work and was a nobody off the street. It was all a lie. Part of it was that I liked fucking with people, especially idiot punks, but another part was that I didn’t want the attention. That’s all different now – well, the attention part anyway; I don’t mind that. I still like fucking with idiot punk rockers.

What's with the name Steak Mtn.?
Around 2001 I changed it to Steak Mtn. I was vegetarian, and somehow the irony of calling this art a mound of meat seemed funny. It’s not – it’s retarded. I was still very interested in remaining anonymous but this time having a single character – I found it easier to hide behind a persona of some sort, stupid as that sounds.

At the time, it felt like a full-blast license to behave badly, be difficult with clients and talk shit about bands. Realistically, that’s still the case – but most people that would sort of care know that Steak Mtn is Christopher Norris. Really, I wish I had a time machine and so I could name this stupid shit something else. Or just buck up and use my actual name.

What was your role in Combat Wounded Veteran? How'd that get started?
My parents moved us to Tampa, Florida in the late 80s, around the time the death metal boom was happening there – and everywhere, really. I got caught up in that world pretty heavily. In 93 I discovered a local band called Assück. Chris Barnes, then with Cannibal Corpse, who I loved, had done backups on an Assück track called “Infanticide”. I was hooked on the potential art and damage that grindcore/power violence/noise had to offer.

Combat started in 96, using bands like Crossed Out and No Comment – and, in the unattainable extreme, John Zorn’s Naked City project – as a loose music model for what we wanted to do. I did all the art, but I hated the black and white aesthetic of that music and made a very conscious decision to move as much humour and colour into the monochromatic world of grindcore as I could. With that came fluorescent colours, Tom Tierney children as Frankenstein monsters, haphazardly placed press type lettering and eccentric – pretentious – song titles/lyrics.

I started as the “vocalist” and also structured and/or wrote most of the music until 2000, which is about the time we overhauled the whole lineup. We moved me to guitar, put Ponch – who originally played bass – on vocals, stole Jeff from Reversal of Man to play bass, got Jason Hamacher from Frodus on drums and decided Radde – the other guitar player – should write most of the music. Not long after that, Radde and I decided we really hated the idea of being in a hardcore/grindcore band and shut down the project for good.

So was it you or the Locust who made metal heads into artsy wimps?
The Locust, which is due to Justin’s impeccable marketing of his bands to youth culture. They had real reach at that moment. Him and Gabe and all those dudes knew how to spin something strange and new out of the meathead template of fast music. They were a truly great band. Combat, on the other hand, had no charisma, no live gimmick – we were just lazy, slapdash noise held together by sloppy art that a few goofy kids thought was cool. Pretty forgettable after the dust settled on all that power violence stuff.

You also did art for Orchid.
Only the split six-inch [15 cm] with Combat Wounded Veteran. They took care of their own stuff, but I think the two bands shared influences and visual enthusiasms – you see presstype, hand text and film references in their records as well.

The first stuff I saw of yours was your cover for the Atom & His Package CDs. Do you remember which ones you did the art for? How'd you get involved with Adam "Atom" Goren?
I started with Redefining Music in 2001 and went on to do Attention! Blah Blah Blah, Hamburgers and Hair: Debatable. Atom’s odd humour and appropriation of electronic music to make “punk” music really excited me. I especially loved his genius track “Me and My Black Metal Friends”.

At the time – and probably still – his music was perceived as this silly thing for dorky hardcore kids to laugh at and maybe actually like. And sure, it is fun music – but the thing that drew me in most was the feeling that his art was a giant Dean Martin roast of punk. It was this kid fucking with everyone’s perception of who and what had and could be played at a “punk” show. It was rad. When he finally played Tampa at this record store/venue that I worked at called 403 Chaos, I asked him if I could do his art and he said yes.

You just asked him and he said yes? Did he know your art already or your band/?
I'm also sure I pitched him some ridiculousness about how his odd music needed a certain kind of art and that I could provide it. I'm not a bad Steak salesman when I need to be, and yeah, he was vaguely familiar with Combat because of the I Know a Girl Who Develops Crime Scene Photos LP on No Idea. So he had a good gauge of what he could expect.

The cover to Attention Blah Blah Blah informed me a lot in college. The way you did the blocky lettering made a lot of sense to me and was the beginning of me understanding how to do hand text. The realistically rendered hand leading into the loose, boneless looking flesh also did a lot for me.
That’s a rad and weird thing to hear. Most feedback I get is steeped in sweaty kid lingo, like “your work is so sick”, which, as you know, is the most boring thing to hear – despite it being a very nice thing because at least someone is excited. But it’s great when it comes around on you and an artist you love says what you are saying. It’s cool.

That block lettering and general messiness of the inside hand text was influenced by the cover for Pavement’s Slanted and Enchanted. I wasn’t a fan of the actual music, but there was something about that cover that stayed with me, maybe it was the audacity of it’s low-rent appearance. I used it as a key reference when putting the record together.

Did you do the art for free?
Nope. Hopeless Records paid me $1,000 (€735) for that record. Punk labels are notoriously cheap when art is concerned – actually, all labels are these days – as that's what I still get paid when working with “major” “punk” labels. Which is why I don’t take a lot of that work, unless it’s a favour for a friend or by the some strange act of God I like the band – that never happens, because we all know that there is no god, and even more realistically, all punk bands make terrible music for boring teens.

The first time I asked you what your main job was, you told me that you built sets for fetish movies. I don't know if I believed you at the time.
But it was totally true. In the summer of 2009 I left Brooklyn to take a job in San Francisco at Kink.com, which, to paraphrase Wikipedia a bit, is an adult entertainment company “that runs a group of websites devoted to BDSM and related fetishes” – or, as they like to say, “We demystify and celebrate alternative sexuality by providing the most authentic kinky experiences.” I was their set decorator for three years before moving back to Brooklyn in 2012.

Tell me about working in porn.
It was the only job I have ever truly loved, including all of this Steak work. The company was a perfect fit for me at the time – not in the meathead, “I like seeing naked people banging so I should get into porn” sense, because that’s boring. I am not a fan of adult material because I think it’s a turn-on or hot or whatever base way people view pornography. I am a fan because I see adult movies as one of the greatest subversive and experimental film genres of all time. It allows the potential artist/filmmaker to create anything – imagination, skill and budget willing, of course.

As long as you hang a few fucks on it, the art-hiding-in-a-commercial-product can be a success. A shadowy one for sure, and a self-satisfied one absolutely, but a success nonetheless. Now, I am not totally idealistic, pretentious and blind to the material – I know what porn is and how it functions. No one pulling or playing with their privates gives a fuck if you re-imagined Brakhage’s Black Ice as a colourful kinetic fuck sculpture starring Jayden James and James Deen. I would be a full-blown idiot if I thought so. What I'm saying is that I love you can do that and it still works as the erotic service tool it was 100 percent funded to be.

VICE News: Afghan Interpreters - Full Length

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The interpreters who worked alongside American and NATO forces in Afghanistan are among our bravest and most loyal allies. They played an essential role in sourcing intelligence and educating Western troops about the local culture. Now they're in danger of being abandoned.

Download the full eBook from Ben Anderson's The Interpreters on PDF Download (Free), Google Play (Free), Kindle, and Kobo.

Canada Actually Let Scientists Review the Success of Its Intelligence Gathering

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Canada Actually Let Scientists Review the Success of Its Intelligence Gathering

Argentines Rioted After They Lost the World Cup

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Argentines Rioted After They Lost the World Cup

Weediquette: T. Kid's Big Haircut

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Photos by the author

Despite society’s increasingly progressive mindset, regular people continue to freak out over weird haircuts. Since my teen years, I’ve experimented with a variety of weird haircuts, discovering that unconventional hairstyles attract negative attention from strangers, police, security personnel, and pretty much everyone else who doesn’t have a weird haircut. Although I learned this early in life, I continued to rock weird hair until very recently. For years I had hair down to my elbows, which I often kept in a bun on the centre of my head – I like to think that I looked like I was balancing a ball. Now the ball is gone, and though I miss it, it’s nice to finally have strangers look at me like I’m a normal person. I had forgotten what this is like. I had rocked a ridiculous haircut for most of my life.

In eighth grade, I discovered hair bleach and went nuts, bleaching a different pattern onto my fresh buzz cut every week like Dennis Rodman. I quickly learned that weird hair attracts negative attention. Every cop that hassled my friends and me made a point to say something about my hair – a couple of times, it’s what made them stop us in the first place. After I got into trouble one too many times, I dyed my hair black and left it that way until my hair's natural colour grew back. When I briefly gave my hair a break, I started experimenting with facial hair. If you keep a beard neat and trimmed, no one will look at you sideways, but if you let that thing go wild, it’s easy to start looking like a maniac. But people didn’t give me weird looks during my beard phase until I stopped cutting my hair. This time cops and old white people weren't the only people giving me dirty looks – everyone looked at me. 

People veered their kids away from me when I walked past them on the sidewalk. It didn’t bother me much, so I let my hair continue to grow. One Thanksgiving, my mum told me she hated my Neanderthal look, so I lost the beard. For the next few years, beards came and went, but my hair kept growing, quickly becoming difficult to mange – I had to brush my locks regularly and find the right kind of shampoo, which I didn’t even know existed.

I did what I needed for my hair because it was more a botany project than anything else. I wanted to see how long I could grow my hair before I was over it. For the first couple of years, I never even had a trim. I looked like I had a two-foot mop on my head, so I started keeping it in a bun. Around this time I started writing Weediquette. As my career started shifting towards weed journalism, my hair made me look like Ron Slater from Dazed and Confused – the stereotype of a pothead.  

Coincidentally, this was also the time that people started telling me I look like Chicago Bulls forward-centre Joakim Noah. Hundreds of commenters made the comparison, many calling me “the Stoner Joakim Noah.” I would like to refute that by reminding everyone that Joakim Noah is the stoner Joakim Noah

Anyways, one day I shaved off the sides and back to make my long hair more manageable. The result was the most ridiculous haircut I’ve ever had: a monkish bun that I rocked for nearly a year. Strangers laughed directly at my hair and facetiously told me it looked great. One guy even said, “Dude looks like he has a bird on his head,” when I walked past him in the park. 

I retained the haircut when I started editing a clothing company’s website. Using my employee discount, I collected of bunch of clothes, including floral-patterned pants and crewneck sweatshirts decorated with prints of cartoons smoking weed. The job made me pick clothes like a colourblind nine-year-old, but the garish outfits went well with my haircut. If you scanned me from head to toe, you would get to my haircut and be like, “Oh, that explains the rest of the outfit.” I thoroughly enjoyed that era of my life, but it had to end because it’s 90 degrees in New York.

I couldn’t handle my mop of hair any more, so on a recent Sunday morning, I decided to chop the bun off.

I had been awake the entire weekend for no good reason, and in my sleep-deprived state, I possessed enough gusto to finally get a haircut. I went to a local barber who unceremoniously buzzed off my locks while I giggled in the chair. As soon as I arrived home, I basked in the pleasure of showering with short hair. When I went to get dressed, I realised that my entire wardrobe only works with my previous haircut. With normal hair and a trim beard, I look like an insane person when I wear floral-patterned pants and weed sweatshirts. For the foreseeable future, I will face this problem – I’m definitely not going to discard all this wacky shit and get new clothes. No, I’m going to rock weird outfits in public and continue to look like a 30-year-old who mugged a high school kid for his clothes. Feel free to laugh at me if you see me on the street. 

Follow T. Kid on Twitter

The VICE Guide To Europe 2014: The VICE Guide to Stockholm 2014

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(All photos by Felix Swensson unless otherwise stated)

The Swedish capital is exorbitantly expensive, a thing called a "dance permit" exists (which suggests the existence of dance police) and we don't go hard by say, Berlin standards. But, it's also beautiful, friendly, you might get to party with Sad Boys and some of the most insanely hot people on the planet came out of our genitals. Read on to find out how to get the most out of your already dwindling sack of krona.

Jump to sections by using the index below:

WHERE TO PARTY
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH DRUGS?
POLITICS, PROTESTS AND JUST HOW RACIST IS EVERYONE HERE?
   The Racists | Protests | The Immigrants
WHERE TO EAT
WHAT DO LOCALS EAT?
WHERE TO DRINK
WHERE TO STAY
LGBT STOCKHOLM
WHERE TO HANG OUT WHEN YOU'RE SOBER
HOW TO AVOID GETTING RIPPED OFF AND BEATEN UP
HOW NOT TO BE A SHITTY TOURIST
PEOPLE AND PLACES TO AVOID
TIPPING AND HANDY PHRASES
A YOUTUBE PLAYLIST OF QUESTIONABLE LOCAL MUSIC
VICE CITY MAP

WHERE TO PARTY

All-night raves can be tricky during the winter months, when the entire country is basically on suicide watch. If you want to dance in a public building it needs to have a permit and then the place needs another one if you want to dance in a public building while drunk, and you definitely want to be both drunk and inside a building during our painful, painful winters. BUT, there is a loophole if the establishment has a members list. You'll need to sign up to this 24 hours before any party starts, but you can do this online if you know where to look. Lighthouse, Karbon, Pangea, Autonom and Levande Charader are all names worth looking up on Facebook, or do a search for “svartklubb” (the Swedish word for a rave, which literally means "black club"). Bet you never thought anyone would be envious of your luxuriously simple keys-wallet-phone-fags check, did you?

Our compensation for the misery of all this organised fun is our summer, when Stockholm blossoms and open-air shows take over some of the most beautiful locations at the edges of the city – often close to the water, by either the Baltic Sea or Mälaren. They’re a little way out of the centre, so be prepared to bring cash for a taxi and cheap beers as you won’t be able to use a card. Everyone’s really lovely, fit, rich and not a space cadet – so be prepared to stand out like the genetically hideous sore thumb you are.

You’ll often hear about the location of the next party at clubs like Slakthuset or Berns, or during the daytime sessions at Trädgården. We really are quite nice, so don’t be afraid to ask us what’s going on.

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WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH DRUGS?

Bad news, you addict: Stockholm is the capital of zero tolerance. Drugs aren't really socially acceptable, so it’s bad form for anyone to ask locals about buying them unless they’ve already made it apparent that they take them. Yes, we’re squares – but at least our hearts work properly and we’re not going bald.

As the penalties for being caught are so severe, everyone who does take them will do it at home before they go out. Undercover police work the toilets of clubs, and unlike most countries it’s illegal to even have drugs in your bloodstream. It’s not unheard of for police to make you do a piss test on the street, so don’t get cocky just because you’ve managed to shove a gram up your hooter.

Don’t give me that face, this city is great!

Though it is worth pointing out though, that while getting drunk is perfectly socially acceptable, buying drinks in clubs will cripple you. You’re better off drinking before you go out, which means paying a visit to the government’s official booze shop, Systembolaget. These are open Monday to Friday from 10AM to 7PM, Saturdays from 10AM to 3PM and they’re closed on Sundays. So stock up.

Coke is probably the most common drug but tends to be of very, very low quality, with plenty of washing-up powder and speed thrown in. So we don’t recommend it. Look, drugs just aren’t our thing and frankly you should just deal with that. It’s not like you couldn’t use a week without any shitty chemicals flowing through your veins.

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(Photo by Hampus Andersson)

POLITICS, PROTESTS AND JUST HOW RACIST IS EVERYONE HERE?

THE RACISTS

As a foreigner, you should know that your mere presence is probably going to be enough to infuriate Swedish Democrat supporters. It doesn’t even matter if you’re blonde and blue-eyed, they basically hate everything other than Swedish folk dress, midsummer celebrations and meatballs with hilarious toppings. If you have the misfortune to run into one, for god's sake don’t bring up the EU.

If those guys sound too reasonable and moderate for you, check out the SMR (Swedish Resistance Movement) and SvP (The Party of the Swedes). Unlike the Swedish Democrats, these guys don’t bother to keep their hateful views in the closet – instead, they'll write them down, put them in a bottle and deliver them right to the back of your head while you're out smiling your way through a peaceful demonstration. They’re neo-Nazis, basically. Pure blood dickheads.

You’ll recognise SMR supporters easily enough in real life, as they’re usually between 15 and 19, move in small packs, dress in black and hold giant green flags with arrows on them. They often hang out in creative suburbs like Kärrtorp, or on Södermalms Torg by Slussen, because that's where they think people are doing too much to promote basic human rights.

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POLITICS, PROTESTS AND JUST HOW RACIST IS EVERYONE HERE?

PROTESTS

Stockholm is currently experiencing a wave of protests against racism and fascism ahead of our general elections in September 2014. Anti-racism has been a big issue here ever since the Sweden Democrats won their first seats in parliament in 2010, because they're bigots.

Protests happen at least once a month in the capital but they can range from peaceful family gatherings to ultra-violent far right vs. far left atrocity exhibitions – all Swedish people are beautiful, so even when the Nazis' faces get fucked up it counts as a crime against aesthetics. Whether or not any of these protests actually have an impact is hard to tell. As you may start to gather when you're filling out your wank permit application, the Swedish system is built around a deeply entrenched bureaucracy. It’s often said here that it takes an elected government at least two terms to noticeably change anything.

The growing support for the feminist party, Feminist Initiative, will hopefully turn Stockholm into the gender-equal utopia the outside world already believes the city to be at some point, but that could take decades.

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POLITICS, PROTESTS AND JUST HOW RACIST IS EVERYONE HERE?

MEET THE IMMIGRANTS

Aside from Finnish and Norwegian immigrants, who tend to be characterised as wealthy, happy-go-lucky slackers, the most noticeable influx of immigrants has been in Södertälje. This suburb has been dubbed "Little Iraq", as the council takes in more Iraqi refugees than the USA and Canada combined. There are countless horror stories about them being taken advantage of for cheap or unpaid labour, which is doubly sad because it makes it seem like the only thing we're really willing to circumnavigate the red tape for is slavery :(

Honestly though, we're great people and this is a great city, it's not just here that hatred blossoms when people are uncertain about the economy – it's all of Europe. Somalis and Roma people are two groups that are currently being blamed for our society not being 100 percent perfect – despite the fact that both endure some of the highest unemployment rates in the country. Furthermore, there's a popular truism over here that it’s the poorer people from the suburbs who are responsible for Stockholm's high quality of life. It’s there that many of the city's restaurant workers, cleaners, taxi drivers and elderly home care assistants live. Also, a rising generation of musicians, entrepreneurs and athletes are the sons and daughters of immigrants who've been literally carrying Swedish society on their shoulders for decades.

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WHERE TO EAT

Hermans
Fjällgatan 23B
Although traditionally Swedish cuisine has been all about meat, potatoes and the occasional fish, these days loads of Stockholmers have gone veggie. Hermans has a decent vegetarian buffet and one of the best views of the city. You should walk there as the street it is on is one of the most beautiful in Stockholm – many of the buildings here on Fjällgatan are the traditional red wooden houses that you usually see in the Swedish countryside, so you’ll have something else to Instagram beyond your food.
LINK

Sturehof
Sturegallerian 42
Sturehof is located in the centre of Stureplan, one of Stockholm's poshest squares, but for some crazy reason it’s actually pretty cheap. You should try the crayfish plateau, which is delicious and a plateful of excuses to make Kanye jokes.
LINK

Tweed Bar
Lilla Nygatan 5
Gamla Stan (the Old Town) is usually so packed with tourists that it’s best to be avoided, but there are a couple of places that won’t make you puke. One of them is Tweed Bar, which is decorated with old Chesterfields, bits of old boats and other ideas stolen from Wes Anderson. The burgers are excellent though and there’s a much wider selection of beers on offer than what you usually get in Stockholm. No veggie options, though – heresy to many modern Swedes.
LINK

Flippin' Burgers
Observatoriegatan 8
Yes, burgers are the most popular meal in Stockholm. So you might as well eat one with a soul while you're at it. Flippin' makes burgers from fresh meat that is locally produced – you can actually ask your waiter where your particular burger meat comes from. The only downside is that they don't take reservations, which makes it a pretty long, but oh so social, wait.
LINK

 

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WHAT DO LOCALS EAT?

Fried Herring
When people think about herring (which is once every eight seconds in Sweden), they usually think about pickled or fermented herring, and consequently about how much it stinks. Fried herring is a much less intimidating way to eat the Baltic’s most traditional fish supper. Typically, it’s served with mashed potatoes or in a thin roll as street food. It’s better than salmon. FUCK you and your salmon, Norway.

Toast Skagen
Basically, it's prawn mayo with some dill. Not exactly revolutionary, but Toast Skagen is now the signature Stockholm starter. Everyone says it was invented at restaurant called Riche, and as such that’s the only place you should eat it (I’m pretty certain other countries thought of it as well, but whatever).

Pizza With Béarnaise Sauce
Swedish pizza is a cheap, soft and slimy version of Italy’s flat thingy. We serve it with Béarnaise and white cabbage salad, which sounds like some hippy crap invented by a well-meaning mum with no understanding of junk food – but somehow, it works.

Meatballs
Jesus, this list isn’t making us look sophisticated, but we really do love eating meatballs. They’re typically served with hilarious toppings, like lingonberry jam, pickled cucumbers and brown sauce, as well as less hilarious ones, like mashed potatoes. Classy meatballs are a lot bigger than those you buy in the supermarket and are considered to be one of our finest folk dishes. Tranan in Odenplan serve some of the best meatballs in town, but it’s not written on the menu, so you have to ask at the bar. In Swedish, they’re called köttbullar, which is pronounced “Sch-utt-bullllaaaar”.

Varmkorv
It literally means warm sausage. This traditional Swedish street food is basically the same as that other famous pig-cock suppository, the American hotdog. They’re cheap and you can buy them absolutely anywhere, but head to Günters at S:t Eriksplan for the best in town.

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WHERE TO DRINK

Häktet
Häktet – which means "remand" – used to be a debtor's prison back in the 19th century. Now, it’s a place where they’ll serve you reasonably priced whiskeys you'll drink all the way to abject penury.
LINK

Södra Teatern
Södra Teatern is located at the top of Hökens gata and the views are so good that in the summer everyone – from my mother to my drug dealer – hangs out in the beer garden. Their prices are pretty decent, too.
LINK

Nytorget
There’s a whole host of trendy bars and cafés in the Nytorget area, in the heart of SoFo (South of Folkungagatan). Our favourites include Urban Deli, Vurma and the unmissable Nytorget 6 for drinks and food. Sadly, you can’t drink booze in the park – unless of course you were to buy drinks from Systembolaget (the state controlled alcohol store) and then disguise them in takeaway cups from 7-11, but that would be some ninja shit that is waaaay beyond you.

Glenn Miller
In a city where no one plays jazz and everyone serves burgers, it’s easy for a bar that only serves moules frites and hosts live jazz to be the best at what they do. But whatever, Glenn Miller is a wicked place and jazz and moules are exactly the kind of thing you should be trying out on holiday.
LINK

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WHERE TO STAY

Did you know Stockholm is spread across 14 islands, making the city mostly water? That’s partly why accommodation is generally so expensive, and also why staying on a boat isn’t a terrible idea. Af Chapman (rooms from 590 krona/€63 per night) is moored along the bay by Skeppsholmen and is a decent enough place to spend the night if you don’t get seasick/easily lured to your death by mermaids.

If you’re looking for a budget place on dry land, HTL Kungsgatan (rooms from 599 krona/€64 per night) has got you sorted. The rooms are tiny and not exactly luxurious – it’s basically a stationary Ryanair flight  – but there aren’t many other options at this price. The street it’s on, Kungsgatan, is one of Stockholm’s most central but also one of its shittiest, so we wouldn’t hang around outside too much.

The Östermalm area is mostly famous for its extravagant shops and horrifying nightclubs, but its saving grace is Story Hotel (rooms from 1290 krona/€138 per night). The bar and restaurant are popular with both tourists and locals, and the rates are pretty reasonable. On the other hand, they’ve replaced their check-in desk with a flat-screen computer, so arriving there has all the glamour of scanning your own bog roll at Tesco.

Berns Hotel (rooms from 1521 krona/€163 per night) has one of Stockholm’s sweatiest dancefloors in its basement and a great smoking terrace that feels like it’s indoors. It’s also the hub for Stockholm Fashion Week as well as various other weird events and conferences, so one big advantage of staying here is that you don’t have to worry about getting into those parties because they’re happening in your bedroom.

Seeing as Stockholm is more expensive than most of the rest of Europe anyway, why not just push the boat out and check into a seriously nice hotel? Lydmar Hotel (rooms from 3495 krona/€376 per night), which hosted Boiler Room last year, is the pick of the high-end locations, though it obviously won't make you feel like a pirate like the boatel.

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LGBT STOCKHOLM

Being gay in Stockholm is pretty much like being straight. The gay scene centres around Gamla Stan, Södermalm and Kungsholmen. Candy on Fridays at Le bon Palais is Stockholm's biggest gay club, but you'll find as many gay people at Berns and Trädgården as anywhere else.

There are two huge annual events on Stockholm's gay calendar: Pride and the Eurovision Song Contest, which is essentially a second pride event. Any country will have a few angry idiots, but the general population can usually be counted on to shout down any overt displays of homophobia.

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WHERE TO HANG OUT WHEN YOU'RE SOBER

Bonniers Konsthall
Bonniers is one of Sweden's biggest publishing houses and Bonniers Konsthall is their art gallery. If you are a fan of Sad Boys – which I'm assuming you are, given that you are on this website – go to Bonniers on a Sunday. Yung Lean, Gud and the others like to trot around there, looking for inspiration. Taverna Brillo in Stureplan and Berns are also places frequented by the twink rap crew when they are not on tour.

Skinnarviksberget
One of Stockholm’s highest points with the best view of the city. Go there, look at the view, wish this was the kind of city where you could smoke a joint, and then move on.

Vitabergsparken
A great park in the shadow of the graceful Sofia church. It’s near this bizarre, fake American shopping area, SoFo, so you’ll know you’re in the right place when you see loads of people carrying huge bags with logos on them.

Långholmen
In Stockholm in the summer, going swimming at night is practically mandatory, and Långholmen is a good spot. Situated beneath the bridge that connects Långholmen with Kungsholmen, it's so popular that there will probably be a crowd, especially in the early hours.

Marielle's Vintage
Marielle’s is Stockholm’s only clothes shop where you’re likely to actually find something both affordable and wearable. It’s not particularly well known, even among the locals, so try not to ruin it with your foreign vibes.
LINK

Artipelag
Everyone visiting Stockholm in the summer should take a boat to the islands. How many fucking archipelagos have you got? Anyway, if you need a specific reason to go, go visit the art gallery Artipelag on Värmdö.
LINK

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HOW TO AVOID GETTING RIPPED OFF AND BEATEN UP

Pickpocketing is as common in Stockholm as it is in any other capital city. The worst areas are the crowded streets around Drottninggatan, Gamla Stan and Plattan. There have also been reports of drunk hipsters getting mugged in a small park close to Mariatorget, so maybe find somewhere else to get drunk, hipster.

Thieves also have an irritating habit of just trying doors to see if they’re unlocked, so always make sure you’ve locked up even if you’re home. They won’t give a shit. You probably shouldn’t worry so much, though – it’s not Chicago.

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HOW NOT TO BE A SHITTY TOURIST

The best way to piss off a Swede is to jump a queue. Seriously, if you want to get punched in the face, walk into a McDonald’s and go straight to the front. We take our queues very, very seriously, and so should you.

Generally, it can be tough as a tourist in Stockholm if you don’t know any locals. Bouncers will hate you and locals will point you in the wrong direction if you ask them for help. Maybe this is because we’re sick of tourists on bikes who don’t understand cycle lanes, so if you want to do your bit for Swedo-touro relations don’t wobble about town on your rented bike, getting all up in our space and slowing down our city. I've only got five minutes before the government booze shop shuts and my Iraqi slave is a thirsty motherfucker.

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PEOPLE AND PLACES TO AVOID

Tube Guards
Compulsive power abusers who will go out of their way to insult you. They look at you, they hate you, they’d love to Jean Charles de Menezes the shit out of you. Just be polite and never question their authority.

Undercover Police
You’ll recognise them a mile off because they wear clogs and Backyard Babies T-shirts. They think everyone under 30 is high all the time and they’re pretty keen on interrogating all of us. In Swedish. Which will totally fuck with you if you have miraculously managed to score and smoke some weed.

Fake Taxi Drivers
There are plenty of taxis in Stockholm, but it’s always better to call a reputable company than to flag one down in the street. The dodgy ones will try to convince you that you can go with them for free, so obviously don’t fall for that, it's a stupid trick and they are not good people.

Casino Cosmopol
Stockholm’s state-owned (obviously) casino is a hotspot for money laundering and the creepiest people around. Not the sort of place you put a tux on to visit, more the sort of place where marriages go to die.

Slussen
Slussen is a giant intersection at a badly planned junction that is known in Stockholm as the “place of nothing”. The plan was to refurbish this giant urinal years ago, but various "decision makers" have had a hard time agreeing on anything and as a result the place is a dangerous spot where big blocks of bricks occasionally fall from viaducts and land on cyclists. Viaducts 1, cyclists 0.

Festivals In Kungsträdgården
Kungsträdgården is a pretty park where most of Stockholm’s cherry blossom trees are located. You won’t notice them though because some tosspot will be trying to feed you street food, or make you learn a skill, or help someone because Kungsträdgården is the home of the worst community events in Northern Europe.

Prison
Yeah, you don’t want to go to prison, so don’t bother with the drugs. Just thought I’d warn you again.

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TIPPING AND HANDY PHRASES

Tipping
Stockholmers aren't particularly fond of tipping unless they feel like they owe it to someone. Also, tipping should never be excessive. Lagom is key, which is Swedish for "in the middle", or "just about enough". If you're eating out and your waiter/waitress takes care of you as if you're the only one in the restaurant, tip about 15 percent (20 if you find him/her hot). If the service is standard, 10 percent is enough.

Tipping in bars only happens if the bar-person tells you to sit down and wait until he/she brings you your drinks, or if the bartender gives you a generous discount. Only serving you drinks at the bar means no tips – except for a couple of kronors change when you pay with cash.

Never pick up the kronors though, they're worthless and piles of them in your pocket will pull down your trousers. The same goes with taxi-tipping.

Handy phrases

Hej – Hello
Tack – Thank you
Varsågod [pronounced, weirdly, "war-so-goooood"] – You're welcome
Hej då [pronounced "hey dooo"] – Goodbye
Snälla – Please
Ja – Yes
Nej – No
Fan vad keff du är [pronounced "fan va keff dou are"] – You're fucking weird
Puss – kiss

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A YOUTUBE PLAYLIST OF QUESTIONABLE LOCAL MUSIC

Here are ten songs from Sweden. They are of questionable quality and dubious virtue.

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VICE CITY MAP

So there you have it, that's pretty much our city.

Crack is wack, yo,

– VICE Sweden

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How the Pharmacutical Industry Is Making Money out of Overdosing Americans

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Photo via Flickr user The Javorac

America has a prescription pill problem. According to a CDC report released this month, US doctors wrote 259 million opioid prescriptions in 2012 – which means that in some states, there are more painkiller prescriptions than people. Both doctors and pharmaceutical companies profit from overprescribing the pills that have led to the rise in America’s harrowing narcotic addiction, and now that opioid overdose is among the leading causes of death, they’ve also found a way to profit from the antidote, naloxone.

A new naloxone-injection device called Evzio was released on the market just this week, after receiving fast-tracked approved by the FDA in April. But it’s doubtful that Evzio will actually improve access to naloxone, and more likely that it will become a golden goose for Kaléo, the pharma company that created it.

Evzio is a new naloxone auto-injector, about the length of a credit card and the thickness of a small cell phone.

Naloxone is basically like a magic cure for opioid overdoses: inject a dose of it into someone who has just ODed, and it can wake them up. The drug blocks the body’s opiate receptors, reversing the effects of whatever you overdosed on, whether it’s heroin or Vicodin or OxyContin. Naloxone works extremely well, but only if it’s administered within a certain time frame. To make this easier, Evzio claims to be the first user-friendly at-home naloxone injector, which doctors can prescribe at the same time that they prescribe opioids.

This isn’t the first time that the pharmaceutical industry has made money from opioid overdoses. Naloxone, which is an off-patent drug, has been available since 1971 and costs about $3 (€2.20) per dose. But a pharma company called Hospira, which was the sole manufacturer of naloxone in the US until this year, increased the price of the drug tenfold in 2008 – the same year that opioid overdose was declared an “epidemic” by the CDC. Prescription doses of naloxone now costs a little more than $30 (€22).

Evzio, by comparison, is estimated to cost is between $400 (€295) and $600 (€440).

Video via NBC News

Evzio’s representatives dodged my questions about exact pricing, but they made sure to emphasise that it’s different from the status quo because of its user-friendly design: Similar to an EpiPen, all you have to do is stab the device into the ODing person. In April, when the FDA approved the device, FDA Commissioner Margaret Hamburg told reporters that the “lack of a lay-friendly delivery system has made it difficult to make naloxone broadly available to the public and to foster its use in non-medical settings, where it is often most urgently needed.”

The thing is, that’s only half true. Naloxone is most essential in the non-medical setting, but administering naloxone isn’t nearly as difficult as she – or the makers of Evzio – suggest. A recent study found that people without training were able to use the syringes in a naloxone rescue kit just as easily as people who had been trained. Tessie Castillo, who works for the North Carolina Harm Reduction Coalition, told me that at-home naloxone kits are so easy to use that “anyone with common sense could figure it out, even without training.” The New York Times once compared the ease of the process to “basting a turkey.”

Photo via Flickr user intropin

The point here is that barriers to naloxone use aren't related to administration, but access. Naloxone is available via prescription in all states, but Castillo told me that “many people are afraid to ask their doctor for a prescription because it could potentially mean admitting to using illicit drugs or taking medications not as prescribed.” Combine this with confusing naloxone laws and some doctors’ reluctance to prescribe it, and you can understand why many users don’t have it. And although naloxone can save your life from an overdose, it only works if you have it with you.

Castillo told me that her organisation has distributed more than 2,600 naloxone kits throughout North Carolina in the past year, which are free of cost and do not require a prescription. There are around 200 other organisations like hers that distribute naloxone at a subsidised cost or for free – but many of these organisations are grossly underfunded, and they can’t distribute enough naloxone kits to match the demand.

Evzio, which is both pricey and prescription-based, does nothing to improve these access barriers. In fact, it’s literally the opposite of what naloxone advocates say they need.

Photo via Flickr user Dylan Hartmann

When I asked her about Evzio, Castillo was unenthusiastic. “I wish that the FDA would have fast tracked over-the-counter naloxone instead of an expensive product for a private company,” she said. “Intramuscular and intranasal naloxone are already available, easy to use, and much less expensive than Ezvio, so I don’t see how the addition of a machine that talks will improve access for anyone.”

At worst, Evzio’s high out-of-pocket price could be a major access deterrent for the device; at best, it could create a two-tiered system of access, giving access to those who have good quality insurance and are legitimately prescribed opioids, while leaving out users who are uninsured, who get pills by illicit means, or who use heroin instead.

Video via naloxone.org.uk

Tracey Helton, an outspoken naloxone advocate, told me she’s optimistic that “there may come a day when [Evzio] is required to go in compliment with opiate based medication,” meaning your doctor would write a prescription for Evzio alongside any opioid prescription, thereby mandating greater access to the antidote.

This is certainly what Evzio’s makers, Kaléo pharmaceutical, have in mind. The company’s Chief Medical Officer, Eric Edwards, stated that the company wants Evzio “in every medicine cabinet of every person who might be at risk.” Most naloxone proponents would agree that this is admirable in terms of broadening access. But as Helton points out, while increasing access is the goal, this strategy also provides a lucrative opportunity for the pharmaceutical industry: If Kaléo convinces doctors to write a prescription for Evzio alongside every opioid prescription, the device “could become a cash cow.”

Put plainly: pharmaceutical companies can now sell you the poison and sell you the antidote.

Photo via Flickr user David K

The problem is that this makes naloxone a part of the opioid economy – and that economy is booming. A study from last year confirmed that painkiller prescriptions doubled between 2000 and 2010 – without any evidence of improved pain management or increased incidents of pain. In California, a lawsuit is underway alleging that pharmaceutical companies profit from doctors overprescribing opioids. Specifically, the suit alleges that in 2010, the sale of prescription opioids generated $8 billion (€5.9 billion) in revenues for pharmaceutical companies. If Evzio (rather than generic naloxone) is sold in tangent with every opioid prescription, Kaléo’s profits could well surpass that. 

To be fair, Kaléo is in the process of developing a “patient assistance program” to subsidise the cost for eligible patients, and has agreed to donate devices to some harm reduction centers. But by so closely linking their product to prescribed pills, they have a stake in maintaining the gross over-prescription problem – arguably, the source of opioid addiction. In other words, Kaléo needs you to stay addicted to opioids so that they can turn a profit on your potential overdose.

Access to naloxone is invaluable, but it isn’t priceless. If we want to prevent overdose related deaths, we need to provide low-cost, easy-access versions of naloxone rather than allowing pharmaceutical companies to cash in on opioid overdoses.

Follow Arielle Pardes on Twitter.

Meet Rodeo's Most Successful Black Cowboy

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Fred Whitfield. All photos via the author.

Fred Whitfield meets me in ostrich skin boots, and a buckle that glows like the sun.

“I’ve won just about everything there is to win,” the veteran roper drawls. “Rodeo’s been great to me, and rodeo don’t owe me a thing.”

He stands at a big 188 centimetres, never stops moving, and keeps a dip of tobacco tucked in his lip. He’s got two horses hitched to his trailer, and when the colt gets testy with the mare, Whitfield pivots and hisses, “Hey! If you kick her, I’m gonna whoop your ass.” The colt calms right down.

We’re at the 102nd Calgary Stampede – Fred Whitfield’s 24th – and he’s competing in tie-down roping: one of the Stampede’s six rodeo events. He’s turning 47 next month, yet the Texan is beating guys half his age.

“This is the 2005 World Champion buckle,” Whitfield says, pointing at the gorgeous piece of gold metalwork fixed to his custom-tooled FW leather belt. “It’s the last one I won, so it’s the one I wear all the time. It’s worth about $18,000 (€13,000) if you had to replace it. I’ve got eight of them.”

He started with nothing: a poor black kid from a broken home in the heart of white Texas bent on making it in the Lone Star State’s even whiter rodeos. He came and he won.

People talked a lot of trash to Whitfield. He got it from both ends: white and black. Whitfield got into fights.

“You see this scar on my face?” he says pointing to the slender slash that runs down his left cheek from the top of his chin. “It happened in 1989. I was in a bar and some guys said, ‘We’re gonna whoop your ass – you better leave,’ and I said, ‘Well, I guess I got an ass-whoopin’ coming because I’m not going anywhere.”

A half-black, half-Indian man was lusting after Whitfield’s girlfriend at an all-black rodeo in Oakland, California. The guy went after him with a knife. Whitfield hit back with a lug wrench. He hit back, again and again, until the guy couldn’t walk.

“Thirty-one stitches,” Whitfield says. “About six inches lower, I wouldn’t be telling you this story – I’d be dead.”

Whitfield isn’t the first African American to make it in professional rodeo – he’ll tell you that – but he has been the sport’s most successful. In his 25-year career, he’s won eight Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association (PRCA) world championships, the PRCA’s coveted All-Around Cowboy award, and $3.2 million (€2.3 million) (a hell of a lot for the sport). He’s won at the Stampede three times, and made $12,500 (€9,100) in Calgary this year.

“I don’t consider myself a famous person,” Whitfield says, “but I consider myself a fortunate person because I’ve had a lot of success in a sport where the percentage of African Americans is less than five percent.”

Early cowboys, like cow-biting Bill Pickett, and bull riders Myrtis Dightman and Charlie Sampson paved the way. They were seldom judged for how they really rode – even in the 1960s, black cowboys like Dightman were being forced to do their events after crowds had packed up and gone home.

Whitfield has experienced his fair share of white-trash ignorance too. Racism in rodeo isn’t as bad as it used to be, but it’s far from perfect. Ignorant creeps will still shout “Nigger” at rodeos in some parts of America. He used to fight back – now he walks away. Some parts of rodeo just won’t change.

“It’s still there,” he sighs. “I’d be lying to you if I told you it wasn’t. But nowadays, I think it mostly has to do with jealousy.”

I’ve seen him rope.

A scared little calf runs into the arena, and Whitfield comes after it on a horse, spinning his lasso in one hand with a tie in his teeth. He ropes the calf around the neck, flies off the horse, then flips the calf and binds three of its legs, all in 7.4 seconds.

“You know,” I say, with pathetic city-boy feebleness. “Some people find the sport cruel. They’re protesting and stuff.”

“We don’t ever set out to injure an animal,” he tells me matter-of-factly. “But there’s people who fight for what they believe is right, and who am I to say they’re wrong?” Whitfield grins as he says this last part, then lets out a long, dark stream of tobacco spit.

The world’s cruel, I guess. And Whitfield’s written a book about it. Published in 2013, Gold Buckles Don’t Lie: The Untold Tale of Fred Whitfield is as tell-all as they get: a violent alcoholic father who his mother leaves, takes back, shoots in the gut, then takes back again... Little Fred’s consuming rodeo obsession; roping dogs in the Texas sticks, then calves under flickering small town rodeo lights; winning and winning; then women, brawls, and even the rush of rodeo on cocaine.

“This is not fabricated shit," Whitfield says of his book. "It’s gonna keep you on the edge of your seat.”

Whitfield’s married now. He’s got two daughters and he’s mentoring 22-year-old Cory Solomon: another black Texan – and the kid is good, too. But when the younger cowboys take the rodeo night by the horns, Whitfield now (mostly) stays in.

“I don’t need to be standing around where there’s 10,000 screaming women crawling all over you and all that good stuff. I’ve outgrown all that shit.”



I ask him about retirement. He’s one of the oldest guys competing in Calgary and he’s cooled down of late, taking some off for surgery on his neck and shoulder.

“Maybe I’ve lost a step speed-wise, but you can overcome that with knowledge and wisdom,” Whitfield says. “If I show up at a rodeo, I expect to win.”

Even if he’s slowing down, Whitfield’s schedule is still fairly crazy. On July 4, he drove more than eight hours from a rodeo in Montana to Calgary to compete on the same day. He then headed back to America after competing on July 7 and hit four rodeos in three states – Wyoming, Colorado, and Utah – before coming back to Calgary to compete in the Stampede finals on the 13th. That’s over 7000 miles in less than a week. And his whole summer is like this.

“I back in there and there’s 33,000 people screaming when they call my name – and if that don’t get your blood to boiling, then something’s wrong,” Whitfield says. “I don’t want to use the analogy of being on drugs, but once you get this rodeo shit in your system, it’s hard to kick it – man, am I telling you.”

Follow Daniel Otis on Twitter

Photographs of Animals Eating One Another

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All photos courtesy of Catherine Chalmers

Catherine Chalmers isn't fazed by death. The New York–based visual artist recently created a photography series called Food Chain, which unapologetically showcases the circle of life. For the series, Chalmers placed a predator beside its prey and photographed the inevitable: a caterpillar nibbling its way through a tomato, a praying mantis slaying a caterpillar, and a toad eating a praying mantis. Chalmers's accompanying series, Pinkies, works similarly. The first photograph in the series features a litter of just-born mice; the next, we watch one swallowed by a snake, and then another devoured by a toad.

Chalmers sets her subjects against a clean, white background. Quickly, the sterility of the scene becomes littered with blood and guts. She shows the way in which animals thrive – which, she argues, shouldn't disturb us so much. It's what they do. It's what we do. I spoke with her about her project and the impetus behind Food Chain.

VICE: In regard to Food Chain, what got you interested in this subject matter? How did the idea come about? 
Catherine Chalmers: I had just finished a black-and-white photography series called Houseflies. Not only was it the first time I had used a camera for my artwork – I started out as a painter – I had never raised animals before either. I was intrigued that this insect, the housefly, whose very name uniquely connects us, lives a parallel life in our own home. The dramas of its existence play out in front of us, yet they are outside of our awareness. We swat them dead and sweep their little corpses off the windowsill, but what did I really know about my fellow roommates? I raised hundreds of houseflies, thousands actually, and photographed them flying around and doing weird and wonderful things in a glass terrarium. Because they ate, and eventually died, at the bottom of the cage and my camera was pointed up in the air, I randomly missed photographing two essential parts of their life: eating and dying. As I imagined what project to work on next, those two words jumbled around in my head, and it finally dawned on me they were not randomly related, but intricately, and often violently, bound to one another. I saw that they were flip sides of the same coin and a key ingredient of the ecosystem. I thought, well, there it is—I’ll recreate a food chain.

Was there any hesitation, or did you pretty much jump right into it? I imagine there'd be some initial doubt going into this, right?
I was horrified. Really, you’re going to raise an animal specifically to photograph it dying? The thought of it gave me a stomach ache. But the more I considered it, and probably because I was so disturbed, the more I realised its power. How is it possible – and isn’t it a bad sign – that an educated person could be so detached from the processes of life on earth?

That brings me to my next question. What kind of reaction are you expecting people to have, or rather, want them to have?
The reaction people could, should, or might have doesn’t figure into the creation of my work. The visual arts are a toolbox I use to investigate what intrigues me and I utilise whatever medium best suites the expedition. The resulting work is a record of my discovery. I hope what tugs and twists me into a project, which take years to complete, will also be the things that people take away from it. How satisfying if my work could function like a flashlight illuminating what I think is important. My interests, though, are informed by the time in which I live. Two hundred years ago, maybe less, most people were farmers or ranchers and raised a good amount of their own food. They were intimately connected with the processes of nature. Food chains were obvious. No need to make art about them.

That's a really good point. 
Today, most of us live an urban existence and the grocery store is one of the few links we have to a food chain. When nature and culture meet today, they often collide in a nexus of confusion, and fear. For example, without insects, we would all be dead. Plants wouldn’t be pollinated, the soil would rot, and the ecosystem would collapse in a matter of months. And how do we repay them for supporting us? By hating them.

I'm extremely guilty of fearing spiders. So you're trying to change our minds about insects?
My work aims to give form to the richness, as well as the brutality and indifference that often characterise our relationship with animals. My ultimate wish is to broaden the cultural significance of the non-human world.

You mention that these projects take years to make. I'm curious, how long did it take to get each picture for Food Chain just right? Were there more than one of each insect or animal used?
Raising, feeding, watering, and cleaning up after my growing zoo – those things consumed the majority of my time. As in the natural world, I only had a few top predators compared with a large population of species at the bottom of the food chain. Predators need a varied diet. Many of the insects I raised never appeared in the work. The issue wasn’t how long it took to get each picture just right, because in my mind there was no preconceived right, but that it took many months to coordinate the timing of each species’ development. I went through several generations of caterpillars before the praying mantis egg cases even hatched. The predator/prey relationship can reverse itself depending on size. A large praying mantis will readily eat a small frog, and one of my large caterpillars killed a small praying mantis, much to my dismay.

Since you are dealing with the death of some living creatures, I'm wondering—have you received negative reactions from animal activists or the like?
I was threatened at a book signing. A local NPR station was picketed after broadcasting my interview on This American Life. I’ve received hate mail and “I hate you” emails. But these extreme reactions have been lone individuals. Animal-rights organisations fully realise that a snake doesn’t eat tofu and that predation is a basic part of the natural world. I’m not killing anything. I’m only raising one thing to sustain another. Either the mouse dies, or the snake dies of starvation. There is no way around that. The mouse wants to live, the snake wants to eat, and we come along with a third, highly subjective judgment, which often slants these days toward rooting for the underdog. Why should we go by our opinion? If anything we should be rooting for a healthy ecosystem.

This might be a silly question, but what's your take on eating animals? Are you a vegetarian? 
The project grew out of a desire to be more engaged with the natural world. Over time, I became fascinated by the strange disconnect between what people seem to want to believe happens in nature and what actually does. Humans are incredibly efficient killers, yet we are remarkably queasy at facing, or acknowledging, what we do. I’m an omnivore. Eating a chicken running around the yard is an ecologically sustainable thing to do. But supporting the industrial feedlot system of mass produced chickens, for example, is gross and distressing. I try to eat in a way that is easy on the planet. Unfortunately, though, there is really no innocence in eating. Something dies for us to live.

Are there more food-chain examples you're working on?
No. After Food Chain, I raised Periplaneta americana, the American cockroach – AKA the dreaded waterbug – for a multimedia project. I wanted to investigate the part of humanity that hates nature and to look at the adversarial side of our relationship with animals. I could think of few species more loathed than the roach.

Follow Alison Stevenson on Twitter.

Germany Celebrated Its World Cup Win with Fireworks and a Lot of Honking

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Photo by Björn Kietzmann

On Sunday Germany won the 2014 World Cup in a nail-biting final against Argentina. In the 113th minute, during the second half of extra time, Andre Schürrle made a perfect cross to Mario Götze, who scored the first and only goal of the day with a left-footed ninja kick past Argentina’s goalkeeper, Sergio Romero.

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

In Berlin, hundreds of thousands of people gathered in cafés, bars, and public-viewing areas. Thirty-five million people tuned into the game, making it the most popular televised event in German history. After the win, fans flooded the streets and did the obnoxious things fans always do after winning a big sporting event: Fireworks were shot, car horns were pounded mercilessly and vocal chords were pushed to their limits. For the most part the celebrations were peaceful, although one person died after being stabbed at a public viewing in Bremen, and about 100 teenagers in Berlin’s notorious Neukölln district attacked the police with fireworks.

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Twitter and Facebook naturally exploded. Posts by squad members – like Lukas Podolski and Bastian Schweinsteiger’s double kiss with Rihanna and Podolski’s selfie with Angela Merkel – ricocheted around the internet, helping to create the feeling that the whole world was celebrating with Germany. The chancellor, who had been following the game from the VIP stand all night, cheered the boys on like a proud mother.

While the general mood in Germany was one of euphoria, some locals were hesitant to show their national pride. To a small but vocal faction, everything about German stolze is distasteful and offensive, bringing back memories of just how far German nationalism has gone before. There were reports earlier in the Cup of spectators trying to exploit the celebratory mood by sneaking in little Hitler salutes here and there, and this fan who climbed on top of Berlin’s Holocaust memorial to wave a German flag will always be remembered as a total dick.

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

But for the majority of the partying masses around the country, nothing could dampen the spirit and camaraderie the biggest national event since Merkel’s (alleged) nude pics brought to Germany. We sent photographers Björn Kietzmann and Jermain Raffington into the streets of Berlin after the win to get a feel for how the country is celebrating.

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Björn Kietzmann

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Photo by Jermain Raffington

Sarah Schoenfeld Makes Art by Dropping Drugs onto Film Negatives

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That big photo in the middle is a sample of speed. It was mixed with water and then dropped from a pipette onto an exposed film negative. It was then allowed to react with the light-sensitive silver halide particles to create a visual impression of its own chemical makeup. These almost photos were made by the Berlin artist Sarah Schoenfeld, who says she's been interested in depicting the undepictable since she was a child. “First I wanted to be a musician,” she told me over the phone. “But then I became more interested in how things look. Now I'm always looking for ways to make the internal, visual.”

These are lofty words, but then how do you render a narcotic event visually, without resorting to tacky drawings? Looking at it this way, her drug series, All You Can Feel, nails the line between artistic depiction and scientific analysis, while somehow capturing something of the drug's psychological effect. So I called Sarah up to say "well done" and ask how she got the feelings so right.

VICE: Hi, Sarah. That image of speed somehow looks the way speed feels. How did you do that?
Sarah Schoenfeld: Well, I didn't think that when I first produced the work, but after I published the book (also called All You Can Feel) a lot of people said yes, this is how it feels. And what was really interesting is that I got a call from a drug rehabilitation centre and they said that they had run their own little experiment. Without explaining the images, they had shown the book to their patients and asked them to pick a favourite. Every single one of them chose their drug of dependence, with 100 percent accuracy. Even the secretary who only ever drank coffee chose caffeine.


Caffeine

Wow. So how do you explain that?
Well if I had to say, maybe it's that our understanding of reality is already shaped by our technology. We have these feelings, but don't realise that they're created by the things around us. So we think our feelings are our own, but here we recognise where those feelings came from. But I don't know. I also like the idea that it's not explainable.

Do you get asked to explain that a lot? Your answer felt suspiciously accurate.
No, most media people just ask where I got the drugs. And it's like come on. I live in Berlin, I just buy them. Do we need to talk about it? Because you know, LSD was legal until everyone started talking about it.

Do you take drugs yourself?
Yeah, sure, but something I also learned through this is that you don't need to. We have these abilities and chemicals within us. It's just consumerism that says you need to buy something to feel this way.

Is that an advertisement for meditation?
Yes, but then I also just like to work. I think working can create a high.

But have you taken drugs since you did this project?
Sure. Yes.


Sarah's exhibition in Berlin

Do you have a favourite image?
I don't have a favourite image. In the beginning it was ketamine, because the effect wasn't predictable at all. It's like this 80s airbrush flower, with worms in the middle. But now, I don't know. I can't choose.

Talk me through how you came up with this technique. Did you invent it?
I think so. I haven't heard of anyone else who has done it. It happened because I was always working with negatives, because my work has always been in photography. I wanted to look at how drugs react with things and people, but at first I thought, Nah, this idea is too simple. But then it worked and I was really excited. I wasn't even doing it very well. At first I didn't clean the negatives and they had dust all over them. But then I started being more careful. I used alcohol sometimes with the drugs instead, if water didn't dissolve them. And then I experimented leaving them to dry on the negative for different lengths of time. Usually it's about a week, but the chemicals continue reacting. The same drug looks different after a month than a week.

Did all the images look good?
No, there were probably five that didn't look like anything. I didn't use THC for example, because it didn't make a good effect.

So what have you learned from this?
It's really reinforced everything I've thought about images. We're totally into images. They make us able to control and manipulate ideas, and provide a type of power over reality. It's like images let us control something defused and indescribable.

So now you've harnessed that power, are you feeling pressure to do a follow-up?
Well yes, I do feel like this has been this big stone and it's like, where to from here? But my friend says the artistic process just goes on and on, and sometimes things come out. I'll just keep asking the same questions—what is magic? How do we perceive reality? And how can I make something internal, visual?

Follow Julian Morgans on Twitter.

More articles about drugs:

I Got Off Methadone by Tripping

A Guide to Europe's Secret Drug Capitals

We Watched New York's Sexiest Drug Princess Smoke Weird Shit

I Had No Idea How These Numbers Got in My Phonebook – So I Called Them

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Every day, across the country, across the world, phone numbers are being tapped onto touch screens and saved. Some of these numbers will hold great importance, become the pillars upon which love affairs, life-saving friendships, international diplomatic relations and drug addictions are built, while others will merely be conduits for fleeting calls and texts, vocal or written blue moonery that will soon evanesce into the matrix like all the other pointless digits that surround us in our lives.

Have you ever sat there and looked through your phonebook, wondering who the fuck some of the people in there are? 99 percent of the time the only ones we actually need are collected in our "recent calls" section. The rest of the names are so foreign to you that they may as well be etched into a plaque on an ancient war memorial.

The fact I had so many complete unknowns was freaking me out. I decided enough was enough. Who the fuck were these people? Where were they from? How did we meet? Can we both collectively jog each other’s memories to find out how our paths crossed?

I picked up the phone and rang someone called Robert.

VICE: Hi Robert, my name’s Joe Bish. I found your number in my phone. I'm not quite sure how.
Robert: Right (laughs).

I'm just trying to find out how we may have crossed paths. Does my name ring any bells at all?
It does, yeah... But I can’t think where I know it from. Where do you work?

I work as a freelance writer. Where do you work?
I’m a PR. Do you write about film or music?

I used to write about music primarily, for a couple of websites.
You haven’t interviewed Simon Pegg recently have you?

No.
Then I’m not sure, to be honest.

Which bands do you look after?
All sorts. The Raveonettes? Coheed and Cambria? System of a Down?

Ah OK, so maybe we met at Reading Festival or something?
Potentially, yeah. I do Cold War Kids as well.

Do you do Cerebral Ballzy?
(Laughs) No, no, they’re not one of mine. Your name definitely rings a bell... But there’s so many that you obviously deal with [in my line of work]... Have you interviewed the Eagles of Death Metal before?

You know what, I actually have interviewed Jesse [Hughes, Eagles of Death Metal singer] on top of a building once.
Ah right. Well I’ve done them for years so it could’ve been that. Was it at that hotel?

Jesse Hughes

Yeah, it was on the top floor and people were drinking champagne.
Oh yes. Did you do the interview on an iPhone?

Yeah!
That’s it!

It was our eureka moment. We’d found each other in a hopeless place (a press junket) and were reunited once more. We’d be thinking about this day for years to come. But who else had I neglected? What other adventures had I forgotten?

"I was starting to think I had the most tedious life on earth"

I tried three more numbers. Each one of them was a music PR. Christ, is that it? Is my phonebook just full of music PRs from lost encounters with bands I probably never even listened to in the first place? Trying to turn a few tricks as a shit young music journo would charge you with interviewing 2-3 bands a day, more at a festival. But that’s boring, it’s not a direct line to a band, it’s a number for their babysitters. I was starting to think I had the most tedious life on earth. But then along came Ralph.

VICE: Hi Ralph, I’m trying to find out how I got your number mate, found it in my phone, dunno where it came from.
Ralph: Ah, I dunno. Wait, who are you?

My name’s Joe Bish.
Joe Bish... Where have you been recently that you’d have my number?

Uh, I’ve got no idea.
Did you go to a festival recently?

No, no.
I work in security, so maybe it’s from that.

Really?
Yeah. Have you been out clubbing in East London recently?

Well, yeah, but I don’t remember getting any security guard’s numbers.
And you don’t know who I am, do you?

Nah?
Pfft, your number’s not even saved in my phone, I dunno.

Where do you do security in Old Street?
Horns Strip Club.

What the fuck? I’ve never been there... Have I?
Haha, I dunno where I know you from! Have you not been to a festival recently then, nah?

No, why, do you do security at festivals as well?
Yeah, I do it all about but I dunno where I know you from.

Ah, don’t worry about it mate.
No dramas, man.

Holy shit, did I go on a massive bender to a dingy strip club and somehow end up getting the bouncer’s personal line? If so, what for? Easy access in the future? He must’ve thought I was some kind of massive baller at the time, the sort of guy whose phonebook you want your name in, just on the off-chance that I might call him up and invite him to one of the amazing parties with loads of music PRs that I often go to. Ralph had given me a new lease of life – maybe I wasn’t such a sad act after all?

I rang a few other names; Jobe, Anna, Ra’ed, Leon, Jay – none of them picked up. Others did answer but for whatever reason weren't exactly forthcoming about who they were or what it is they do with their time. Their lives had moved on, and so had their numbers. They'd probably created a Facebook event page inviting their real friends to give them their contact details, but not me, I was excluded. Furious and confused, I called the last number – Rene.



VICE: Hi, is that Rene?
Rene: ...Yes?

I just found your number on my phone, and now I'm trying to find out how I got it?
What... What's your name? (Rene sounds nervous. Various circus noises and effects play in the background.)

Joe Bish?
...I don’t have any idea. ("Mary Had a Little Lamb" plays eerily on a xylophone in the background.) Are you from any agents... Housing?

Some street art I found that I imagine is what the inside of Rene's mind looks like, or was just done by Rene

Agent housing? You mean like an estate agent?
(Cartoon gun shots and "boing" spring sounds are heard. It’s like the woman is trapped inside a cartoon.) Yes.

No, I’m afraid not.
(Rene begins to get flustered, her trepidation turning into impatience.) Well, I don’t know! I don’t know! Where did you get my number?!

I don’t know, that’s what I’m trying to find out.
Well... I don’t know. Maybe it’s a missed call.

Don’t worry about it Rene, it’s OK.
Alright then, bye.

The fuck was happening to Rene? Why was she surrounded by cartoon sounds? Was she going nuts? Or had I just called when she was half-asleep and looking after some kids? How did her number end up in my phonebook?

Sadly, I'll never know, and that just goes to show you that the moral here is to always stay in touch with the people you deem worthy of a place in your phonebook. You really never know what they could offer you, or vice versa. Ralph could have been my golden ticket to unlimited boobs and cocktails, but now I’ll never know. The sun rises and it sets, and Horns Strip Club lives on with one less badass weeping on its CCTV tapes. Regret is a terrible thing, and if you’re reading this your heart and mind is probably already full of it. Don’t let your phonebook be, too.

Names have been changed to protect identities.

@joe_bish

More from VICE:

Annoying Drug Dealers by Trying to Pay with Fish

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Photographing the UK's Free Party Raving Crew

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Do you like raves? Do you like parties? Do you care about Europe’s dance culture history? If you answered "yes" under your breath to any of these questions you might have seen Out of Order, Molly Macindoe’s 2011 photo book covering ten years of her life in the free party and teknival scene.

If you somehow missed it, we’ve got good news for you: she’s re-releasing it. We met up with Molly and had a quick chat about the book, the scene, and why it’s coming out again. 

VICE: So we reviewed Out of Order the first time round, for those who didn’t clock it then, can you sum up what the book’s about? 
Molly Macindoe: Out of Order is a photographic documentation of the free party, teknival and underground rave culture scenes, from 1997 to 2006. Two thirds of the book is set in London at squat parties all over the city, but it also includes indoor and outdoor raves that took place in other parts of the UK and several countries in Europe. All of the 400-plus photos portray my passion for the people and places I’ve encountered.

Notice to leave – Section 63 is served (UK Tek, Bramshott Common, Hampshire, 2001)

How were you involved in the free parties? Were you just a punter? 
I was at the beginning, yes. I was first convinced to go by two friends at school who'd recently discovered squat parties and wanted to share their excitement. I had purple and black hair and piercings at the time and they figured I’d appreciate it.

What was your first rave like?
My first experience was in the old Wood Green bingo hall in North London – when I walked through the front door it was chaotic, noisy, intimidating, lawless, hedonistic and exciting. Instantly I felt I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I soon fell in love with this new world of uniqueness and individuality, unconventional beauty that comes from honest self-expression and the abandonment of ego. It was rare freedom.

Lazing on a sunny afternoon (Fantasy-X Channel office, Millharbour, Isle of Dogs, London, 1999)

And when did you start taking photos?
Having just started learning black & white printing in school, I brought my Pentax MX camera to my second party and the combined love for photography and this new community grew from there. I knew early on that I wanted to make a book one day that celebrated rather than demonised the scene. Each weekend I met more people – especially after showing them prints – and became affiliated with soundsystems. This lead to creating old school slide projection shows. To this day, my best friends all come from this community.

How many years were you going to these parties for? And do you still?
It was almost 17 years ago when I started going, and yes, I still do, but on occasion rather than every weekend – plus at least one international teknival a year. Dropping out of the scene was necessary for a while to make a book about it and a long time was needed to recover from the massive project: for a couple of years I barely went to any parties. My passion has re-emerged again, in particular this year – I’m both enjoying more parties and photographing them. Work and life commitments now take priority, but a good rave with the greatest of friends is food for the soul!

R&R on the rooftop (Brick Lane, London, 1999)

It’s a side of British dance and music that’s been left fairly under-exposed in the recent mass love-in over 90s culture. Why do you think it’s had less retrospective adoration? 
I think free party and teknival culture prefers it that way. Even with the advent of mass-scale social network promotion, the majority of organisers that I know still spread the word via text messages and a phone line that activates after 10PM on a Saturday night, particularly to avoid police detection but also to semi-control the crowd that turns up. I’ve had random emails through my website from people desperately seeking a free party and asking for my advice on how to find one: I like that they retain their underground integrity to this degree – that’s what it was all about.

Cars My Arse, Zebra crossing dance floor, Kennington, London 1998

How’s it all changed? If at all? 
The youngest emerging generation is continuing the rave culture spirit, but often in different ways. Inadvertently, I’ve ended up at mega-raves organised by absolutely no one I’ve heard of, attended by thousands of kids I don’t recognise. The production budget is big, the decor is impressive, but the vibe is different, more commercial, even though the warehouse is squatted. The soundsystems are all hired just for the night and set up by whichever company, DJs are paid for and there are lots of burly security control and four-hour queues with £20 door prices. 

Although this rather leaves behind the old "free party spirit"’, the culture has had to evolve and adapt and go down separate paths to survive different political climates and ever-changing government legislation since it began in the late 80s. Sometimes we enter a period of time when anything seems possible and huge parties are held in the very centre of London without intervention. Then there are phases where police shut down even micro-raves with over-the-top shows of force. The scene has had more than one heyday and I suspect will continue to surprise people with its endurance.

New Year’s morning (Mill Mead Road, Tottenham Hale, London, 1998)

And how has the book changed in the second edition?
A huge effort went into the text sections: there's now an essay by Caroline Stedman, a musicologist specialising in this culture, and a very detailed and historically accurate reference section listing every party, its location, dates, soundsystems and any interesting facts about that particular event or venue. 

My mother is American, and I’ve spent a great deal of time there, so I’ve always dreamed of selling Out of Order in the States. I had no idea if anyone would be interested in the subject matter out there, but figured that surely there is as much call for books on British raves as there is for books on punks, mods, new wave and all the other music subcultures that the UK is famous for churning out. The current EDM craze in the US and Canada confirms my belief that the climate is right to get this improved reprint out there.  

Lastly, I believe that if Out of Order has a chance to get more international exposure with a second edition, that will be of great benefit for my next, new project: I’m keen to start working on a second photography book, also about free parties and teknivals but with a broader perspective. It will not only show the new generation of parties and people in the UK, and more in Europe (France, Bulgaria, Spain) but also in Morocco, Lebanon, Jordan and even Iran. Plus, anywhere else I might get invited to...

Out of Order is available for pre-order (at a discount) this week on Kickstarter, with free postage for anyone in the UK/ Europe/US and Canada.

Click here to see the rest of the photographs in the gallery.

Visit our music sister sites, Noisey and Thump.


The Most Controversial Nudes in Fashion

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The Most Controversial Nudes in Fashion

Go Festival Hopping With Steve Angello

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Go Festival Hopping With Steve Angello

These Stupid Internet Beauty Products Might Help You Get Laid

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I'm not sure about you, but I’m one of those women who has been socially conditioned to need all men to find me attractive, all of the time, as though without their lust I'd dwindle away to nothing but a pube with tiny, unloved breasts. But this dating game is tough. You’d think a slutty backless dress and a nose full of Dutch courage would be enough to get me laid, but in the age of porn and Tinder, sometimes it feels like I’m just not sexy or easy enough :(

Thankfully, there are some hard-working people out there who’ve designed a bunch of products to make women irresistible to men. Things like labia dye, stupid disappearing plastic bras and – wait for it – mouth-stretching devices are all a part of our world now, and even better, they're all available at the click of a mouse.

Here are some of the dumbest beauty products, and things in general, that I've been able to find on the internet. At the end there is a poll, which you can use to destroy my life by forcing me to trial one of these products myself for a whole week.

"ESSENCE OF A WOMAN" PHEROMONE PERFUME

Photo by the author

Pheromone parties has been making the news for so long now even Evening Standard readers must be sick to fucking death of them, so chances are you've read all about these odourless chemicals that supposedly do wonders for your pulling potential. BUT did you know that you can also buy them? For real? On the internet? THANKS, TECHNOLOGY!

I went for the sensually titled Essence of a Woman. Aside from kind of sounding like that movie, Scent of a Woman, where Al Pacino is blind and goes round nose-fucking chicks, Essence of a Woman is a copulin (sex pheromone) fragrance designed to make you smell like an ovulating vagina. 

By some cruel twist of irony, the only downside to the pheromones was their actual scent. They smelt disgusting and kind of like baby sick. They smelt so bad that one of my friends had to leave the room, retching. I shit you not, they were so horrendously awful that they immediately began to repel people rather than attract them. Finally, after about ten minutes, the piss and the sick and the ovulating vagina and the broken dreams dried down to a mild parmesan musk.

So, if "mild parmesan musk" is something that you wanna smell like, and if you're willing to pay £50 to smell like it, I guess this is the fragrance of your dreams.


THE "BYE BRA"

Photo by the author

I’m all for sticking things onto myself in the name of unrealistic beauty standards but I didn’t have high hopes for what was essentially double-sided sticky tape attempting to hold my boobs up. Also, nipple covers? I’ve been known to accessorise with a nipple. Sometimes you just can’t beat a couple of cold ones when it comes to screaming “I might have sex with you in a cupboard!” or, “I’m probably French!"

The deceptive photoshopped images of the before and after photos on the box didn’t get Bye Bra off to a great start, and by the time I’d awkwardly stuck it on, it definitely wasn’t in my good books. To hand it to the inventors, the adhesive tape did instantly give me a boob lift and it did stay on for a good while, but what Bye Bra giveth in zero-gravity, it taketh away in the aesthetic stakes. Simply put: It didn't really disappear. I don’t actually think I’ve seen a pair of boobs look so much like two pieces of miscellaneous meat wrapped in cling film before.

I guess the whole point is to wear the Bye Bra with higher necked, backless styles but I feel like we all threw our American Apparel bodysuits out three years ago, right? I mean… maybe someone, somewhere would be totally excited to move their nipples a few centimetres higher, but getting women to stick their skin together in the name of "self-esteem" is just all parts shady and wrong. I don't want to sound overly critical but I’m pretty sure these would have got burnt alongside all the other bras back in 1968 and everyone would have choked on the fumes and died.


VAGINA-COLOURED LIPSTICK

Photo by the author

According to evolutionary theorists, and women's magazine urban legends, the most flattering lip colour for a lady is one that matches her, err, other set of lips.

Going commando and straddling the stands at MAC didn’t quite seem like a viable option, so instead I pioneered a totally legit Dulux-style colour-matching technique that involves computers and doesn’t involve complete public humiliation. I simply compared my vagina colour to a paint chart I picked up at Wickes, then held up my paint chart to an internet inventory of lipsticks, before deciding on MAC’s aptly named Modesty – a "muted, neutral pink". It didn’t exactly sound inspirational; the boring Switzerland of vaginas. But to give those vagina-lipstick theorists some credit, the colour turned out to be incredibly flattering and I smeared my Modesty all over my face. I was a vagina siren blazing into the night.

P.S. I’m super sorry if you thought there was going to be a picture of my VJJ, but you get to see the exact shade and isn't that more exciting, somehow? If you want a vagina-coloured lipstick, or a vagina-coloured house, visit www.dulux.co.uk/app


"MY NEW PINK BUTTON" LABIA DYE

(Photo via)

How many times has someone been about to go down on you and then exclaimed, suddenly, "Uggh, this vagina is way too pale! I've changed my mind"? Probably about as many times as you've thought, 'I know, I'm going to change the hue of my vagina with some labia dye before it turns the colour of a four-week-old corpse.' Do vaginas really lose their youthful glow? How? Do they fade in the sun? If so, maybe stop getting your vagina out in the sun.

Thankfully, there is some sanity in the world, and a lot of the people that took time out their busy lives to review the product, have sarcastically ripped the piss out of it. "Ideal mother's day gift" and "Doesn't your man deserve perfection?" are personal favourites. Oh, and then there's the guy who claims to have enthusiastically tested it out on his dick, which he refers to as his "potato". Sure.


F-CUP COOKIES

(Photo via)

I already know a cookie that makes your boobs bigger… it’s called a regular cookie. Seriously, Japan? Sixteen science Nobel Prizes and this is the best you can come up with? Get your shit together.

The cookies claim to boost your cup size by acting as a herbal oestrogen supplement but, honestly, what part of this sounds good: Synching up a biscuit with your menstrual cycle? No. Increased vaginal secretions? No. Feeling less stressed? Maybe. A soy milk flavoured snack? Gag.
 

"BETTY FUN" PUBIC HAIR DYE IN HOT PINK

(Photo via)

Is your vagina fun? Okay, maybe I worded that wrong. YOUR VAGINA ISN’T FUN ENOUGH. That’s what Betty thinks, anyway, or why would they invent this? Maybe they thought it would be cute, like having a tiny Nikki Minaj asleep betwixt your thighs. Maybe they hate you. Who even knows any more, all I'm saying is, if sea punk was a bad look on your head, it's an even worse look in your knickers. 


FACE-SLIMMING MOUTH-STRETCHER
 

(Photo via)

If pink pubes weren't enough to make you look completely insane, then this thing exists! A device that trains the muscles to make you look wider in the mouth and slimmer in the face. Although, if the Amazon comments are anything to go by, it's actually a subterfuge sex toy: less about slimming your face and more about teaching you the "no teeth" rule the hard way. Or just making you look like a human blow-up doll. 

I can’t help but feel this is one smug man’s backhanded revenge on women for all those pro-teeth sex tips in women's mags. We softly nibble your penis, you make us look like idiots. Touché, douchebag.

Time to vote:

@RosyCherrington

L Ron Hubbard's Great-Grandson Is a Circus Ringmaster

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Jamie DeWolf

If someone claims to be related to a God, the general gut reaction is to smile politely and slowly move away. However, being the great-grandson of Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard, Jamie DeWolf almost has the right to make that claim.

Jamie’s grandfather, Lafayette Ronald Hubbard, Jr., was L Ron’s right-hand man, until he decided to abandon Scientology, change his surname to DeWolf and start a crusade to expose what he claimed were lies espoused by both his father and the church. That’s a family tradition Jamie has continued – though somewhat unintentionally – and he’s now the last of his relatives who’s willing to speak out against the organisation that his great-grandfather created.    

He’s also a filmmaker, circus ringmaster, writer and performance artist, and teaches kids at schools and young offenders’ institutions how to express themselves through art. I spoke to him about Scientology and the joy of Shakespearian dick jokes.

VICE: Hi Jamie. Growing up an aspiring writer, was your great-grandfather a big influence on you, being a prolific sci-fi writer?
Jamie DeWolf: I was raised in an absurdly religious environment. I was baptised and went to apocalypse rapture camps, where we would wait in fields for Jesus Christ to come down and swoop us up. So when I was a child, actually, he was one of my greatest inspirations – along with the Incredible Hulk and Frodo and Wolverine. Every bookstore I went in I could see his name everywhere. My uncles would actually give me some of his science fiction books, and in many ways he became a living model [of how] anything was possible in terms of being a writer.

It wasn’t until a pastor gave me a book on cults – and I went through it, studying very carefully – that I got to Scientology. Before that, I had no consciousness that he was a cult leader. I had to discover that for myself.

You’ve described yourself as a "troubled teen malcontent". What do you mean by that?
Ever since I was young I would often get sent to the school psychiatrist for what I was writing. A lot of it was just too macabre, in retrospect. But I realised, even when I was a Christian kid, that a lot of what drew me into Christianity – and what they were certainly exploiting – was my fascination with demonology and the apocalypse, the Antichrist and the Whore of Babylon. I mean, those were my jams when I was a kid. I must have read the Book of Revelations 10,000 times by the time I was ten years old.

Imagine if Edgar Allan Poe was in elementary school – these days they’d send him to the school shrink, put him on some Prozac and say, “Your writing is far too dark.” So who gets to win? What is good art if it doesn’t have any kind of an edge to it?

Tell me about your art.
I think art that celebrates everything that’s rowdy and raucous and randy in the world is a real way to bring us back to our roots, in a way. I remind that to students when I do writing workshops with them. You know, Shakespeare had mad dick jokes in all of his plays; when you went to see a Shakespeare play there wasn’t this sense, back in the day, that it was dry, antiquated language – it was pretty dirty and rowdy.



How has the church reacted to your performance art?
People who I believe were Scientologists came after me immediately after I wrote that [first anti-Scientology] piece in 2000. They are absolutely in-your-face confrontational.

A lot of people don’t know this, but my grandfather – L Ron Hubbard Jr. – actually created a lot of the Fair Game policies on how to come after your enemies. He helped develop a lot of that complete "destruction of your enemies" philosophy, obviously with his father guiding him. But then he started going after the cult himself, and he could just list off everything they were going to unload on him because he helped, literally, to write the guidebook.

Do you get bored of talking about Scientology? 
For some – because of South Park and stuff like that – it’s a wacky, surreal, funny factoid: “Aw, isn’t that cute – they believe in aliens.” But then you meet people who've lost 20 to 30 years of their life, or lost their houses. I was doing a circus yesterday and met a trapeze artist who's seen the L Ron Life Exhibition in LA and was talking to me backstage. I found out her sister is in the Sea Org and hasn’t spoken to her for over 15 years, and her whole father’s side of the family run Orgs and refuse to talk to her. I feel I owe something to the thousands – hundreds of thousands at this point – of victims who've been left behind and have been smashed into silence, including my grandfather, because of fear.

Jamie during a circus performance

What do you think the future of the church is?
Gerry Armstrong used to be L Ron Hubbard’s biographer. He suggests that we’ve never seen Scientology pushed to the absolute wall. What happens when they get to a point where they actually feel like there is no future? Could we be looking at something that just holds in there tenaciously through public scorn and becomes an institution in 100 years? We could be seeing the end of an empire, or it could be changing into something very different. And as to whether that’s something that's more open – which I’m real cynical about – or something that's even more elusive and dangerous, I don’t know. 

You were recently in Clearwater, Florida – the global spiritual headquarters of the church – for an anti-Scientology conference, right?
Yeah, they asked me to be a speaker, so I was like, "Alright." It seemed like a good time to return and meet some of the other people who have their own private battles. I also had a sort of atomic bomb with me, which is that I’ve just recently got my hands on the secret memoir of my grandfather, which the public hasn’t seen and the church has tried to bury for a long time. 

I felt that I wanted to give the world a bit – just a taste – of some of this memoir so people get a sense of who L Ron really was. Especially who he was in the formative, early years, when it was much more about power and these rituals that he had transposed from black magic. It’s been backed up in multiple places, so the cult aren’t gonna stop it by just breaking into my house – it’s out there.

And you reckon there were private detectives following you when you were there?
Private detectives followed us every day that we were there. Before I went out there, I made a public statement to all my friends and family that, if something weird happens to me out there, they shouldn't believe it. You know, if I slip on some soap in the shower, if I crack my head open – don’t believe it.

Thanks, Jamie.

@VincenzoJRezwah

More Scientology:

The Church of Scientology Had Its Own Teen Pop Band (and They Were Amazing)

I Used to be a Scientologist, Now I Help People Out of Cults by Smoking Weed

Scientologists Really, Really Hate Psychiatrists

Eating Oysters With Jaakko Eino Kalevi in Gagnef

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Eating Oysters With Jaakko Eino Kalevi in Gagnef
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