Everyone wants Tituss Burgess to be his or her best friend. I witnessed this firsthand at an Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt preview event with co-star Carol Kane at the Brooklyn Academy of Music in March. When Burgess descended the theater's steps, hundreds of mostly female millennials jumped to their feet for him, cheering as though Queen Bey herself was in attendance.

After a dozen years as a struggling New York actor, Burgess is finally becoming a household name. As Titus Andromedon in Netflix's acclaimed Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Burgess plays the splashy roommate tasked with catching Kimmy up on the ins and outs of life in NYC, from landing guys to earning paychecks, along with the every pop-culture happening of the past 15 years.

The kimono-wearing, celebrity-obsessed nightclubber Andromedon is part Blanche Devereaux from The Golden Girls, part Stefon from Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update. He also sings better than anyone on Glee—before television, Burgess was Sebastian the crab in the Broadway production of The Little Mermaid. His Unbreakable character's hilarious music video, "Peeno Noir: An Ode to Black Penis," featured rhymes on noir such as "caviar," "Myanmar," and "mid-size car." The video not only went viral—it provided the impetus for the actor's recently launched brand of wine, Pinot by Tituss (really), which he has been busy promoting whenever he shows up on late-night talk shows, which is more and more these days.

All photos by Nathan Bajar

When I met Burgess last month in his neighborhood of Harlem, he was excited to try some wine though a bit nervous at the prospect of getting it right. Our original angle had been a wine tasting, where we would sample his pinot noir alongside two competitors in a blind taste test.

"I usually drink a malbec or a merlot," the 33-year-old Athens, Georgia, native admitted. "So I needed my pinot noir to be a little thicker, a little richer, a little fuller."

After identifying his own brand with a slight hesitation, Burgess asked Pompette's owner, Mozel Watson, who was serving us, about his decade in the wine industry. "First of all, you don't look old enough," Burgess said, sounding a bit dumbstruck. "Second of all, I don't know that I've ever met another African American in the wine industry... very rarely."

"There's a few of us," Watson concurred.

As we sipped Burgess's signature pinot noir, the actor digressed several times to acknowledge Watson's choice of soundtrack, Beyoncé's new album, Lemonade. "It is so hard to listen to," he exclaimed. It's not that he didn't think it was good—he does—rather it's that Burgess had just ended his romantic relationship of four and a half years, a fact he volunteered exactly one minute after I turned on my tape recorder. I was quite surprised to hear this—his partner was mentioned in Burgess's New York Times Sunday Routine weeks earlier, and on a pre-taped episode of The Wendy Williams Show. Plus I'd just binge-watched the second season of Unbreakable, in which he falls in for a construction worker named Mikey (Mike Carlsen) over the course of 13 episodes. As season two ends, Titus is the only Unbreakable character in a healthy romantic relationship.

Still, he does see a parallel with plot of the show. "On season two of Unbreakable, Kimmy has emotion burps. I had emotion outbursts that were out of character for Tituss Burgess," he said, gesturing with his hands. "[Kimmy and Tituss Burgess] sort of intersected and lived together for a second, and I felt like I was drowning. I'm not that kind. I'm a very happy man. Very focused, very full of life." He and his ex-boyfriend, Pablo Salinas, remain best friends. They actually watched Lemonade together the weekend it came out, which was awkward because Burgess had been unfaithful in the past. "I could tell just felt vindicated," he said.

Unbreakable showrunners Robert Carlock and Tina Fey wrote the part of Titus Andromedon with Burgess in mind (he had previously appeared on the duo's 30 Rock as a hairdresser named D'Fwan). Despite Tituss and Titus sharing a homophonic name, a love of Broadway, and a neighborhood (on the show, Harlem is renamed "East Dogmouth"), Burgess is differs from his character in many ways. Whereas Andromedon née Ronand Wilkerson didn't realize he was gay until he married a woman, Burgess told me he first had inklings of his sexuality when he was in kindergarten. Burgess also does not like being the center of attention—he'd rather chide Watson about his love life or plan a cookout for the shopgoers than answer my questions—because he's genuinely curious to get to know other people and foster community. While Titus Andromedon is a charming egomaniac, the actor who portrays him is a true egalitarian.

"There's nothing stereotypically mainstream about what Tina Fey does. It is all subversive."

He's also politically active. During a recent appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, he described his alma mater, the University of Georgia, as "a shady school that has the name of a shady state that tried to pass a shady law," a reference to House Bill 757, which would have allowed faith-based organizations to discriminate against hiring LGBT workers.

When I asked Burgess about his political leanings, he was happy to oblige me. In his view, Georgia, North Carolina, Mississippi, and Texas are "experiencing what I would call a pulling down of the pants," he said. "I think people are just exhausted. Jenna, as much as I respect you, I have no vested interest in who you sleep with. Or, who you date. And I can't for the life of me figure out why that's so important to other people. Out of all the things that are important to being a human being," he said.

"We have to pull religion out of government once and for all—it has no place there whatsoever," he continued. Burgess is a practicing Christian who attends Middle Collegiate Church in Harlem and frequently dines with his pastor, Dr. Jacqui Lewis—but he strongly advocates for separation of church and state. "In order to honor the human being, we must allow for other people to exist," he said.

Unlike Burgess, Unbreakable's Titus is anti-religion, although he is still in touch with his spiritual side. He claims to have had several previous lives, including a stints as an openly gay slave named Alphonse and a Napoleonic Frenchman who nearly invented raisins.

The most-talked about plot point in season two involves Titus's decision to stage a one-man show, Kimono She Didn't: Murasaki's Journey, dressed as the Japanese geisha his soul once embodied. Many critics disapproved—Alex Abad-Santos at Vox called it "another Tina Fey project that paints Asian people, specifically Asian women, as crappy characters." (At VICE, Mallika Rao asked, "How can someone so smart at evening the playing field for women be so dumb about other poorly represented people?")

Despite the controversy, Burgess had no trouble defending the creative choices his bosses make. When I asked, "Why risk having a white person play someone whose actually Native American?" in relation to the contentious storyline of Native American character Jackie Lynne, played by Jane Krakowski, Burgess replied, "It's not one of those situations where #OscarsSoWhite and we are stealing a role from a Native American. It is giving voice to a people who have had an entire legacy of people stealing things from them, and now one of their own willfully left them. Most of what do, I think, is exacerbate—or exploit, rather—what is wrong with America." He asked if I understood, seeming a bit put out that I'd required any explanation.

I rephrased my question, curious about Fey's motivations specifically. He replied, "There's nothing stereotypically mainstream about what Tina Fey does. It is all subversive. It is all in attempt to thwart and to come from left field, and to put into the mainstream dialogue what is not normally mainstream. It's more than just comedy. It's social commentary, it is ignoring social commentary, it is, 'I'm a woman who's at the top of her game, who can write about and say whatever she wants and not apologize for it.'"

He continued, "It is giving focus to a white, male-dominated world where you got a storyline about a Native American, a storyline about a gay black man who is out of work, a story about a white landlord who's a criminal, right? And a rape bunker victim. Why wouldn't we talk about something as radical as Native Americans?"

Follow Jenna Marotta on Twitter.

Check out Coralie's website.

Matthew de Grood stabbed five students to death in 2014. THE CANADIAN PRESS

This post originally appeared on VICE Canada.

The trial for Calgary's worst ever mass killing began this week. Defendant Matthew de Grood, 24, through an agreed statement of facts, admitted he stabbed the five victims to death. He didn't enjoy it, but said "the son of God was controlling me."

De Grood has pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder charges in the deaths of Lawrence Hong, 27, Joshua Hunter, 23, Jordan Segura, 22, Kaitlin Perras, 23, and Zackariah Rathwell, 21. The first three were students at the University of Calgary, while Perras went to Mount Royal University and Rathwell attended the Alberta College of Art and Design. They were killed early on April 15, 2014, at a house party celebrating the end of the school year.

The defense is expected to argue de Grood is not criminally responsible for the crimes.

In court Monday, Crown prosecutor Neil Wiberg read aloud the statement of facts, which included de Grood's interviews with police officers, the Canadian Press reports. It reveals that, de Grood, a University of Calgary student and son of a veteran Calgary police officer, told cops "what I did may seem atrocious, but I was killing Medusas, werewolves."

He also said he tried to be merciful when committing the stabbings.

"I aimed for their heart. They put up a struggle which made it hard, but, so you know, it wasn't sadistic or anything."

De Grood was working a shift at Safeway on the night of the stabbings. His friend Daniel Butler, quoted in the statement of facts, said he invited de Grood to the party, located in the city's Brentwood neighborhood. De Grood acted strangely, telling Butler he believed the apocalypse was coming at midnight.

Later, according to the agreed facts, he smashed his cellphone with an axe after dropping it into a fire.

De Grood said he grabbed a 21-centimeter blade chef's knife from inside the kitchen with which he attacked Rathwell; they'd had an argument about Buddhism.

"Then the people on the couch saw and obviously started freaking out, so I killed them from left to right as quickly as I could," he told police. "The girl ran into the corner, so I went and stabbed her. I said, 'I'm sorry I have to do this.' Then the guy from the kitchen wasn't dead. I had to hunt him down. Then I just left."

Witnesses approaching the house after 01:00 saw de Grood chasing Hunter outside; Hunter then collapsed on the ground. De Grood, his hands covered in blood, threw his knife on the ground and ran off. Segura, Rathwell, and Hong were dead inside the home while Perras was fatally injured.

When cops caught up with de Grood, they found cloves of garlic on him, which he said were to "keep the zombies away." That same night, he also said he was an alien, according to the CBC.

De Grood's father, Calgary police inspector Doug de Grood, had reportedly been concerned about his son's mental health leading up the killings, as did at least one of his friends. The court heard that de Grood had been posting Facebook updates that referred to killing vampires and incarnation.

As the proceedings started, Gregg Perras, father of one of the victims, read a statement to reporters.

"It is immeasurable to comprehend the anguish and sorrow we have experienced over the last two years," he said. "Only those who have experienced significant loss can relate."

The trial continues Tuesday.

Follow Manisha Krishnan on Twitter.

Photo courtesy of Marcus Jecklin

Marcus Jecklin is fucking gorgeous. His body comes at you like an old Batman fight: Biceps, BOOM! Pecs, KABLAM! Abs, POW! Glutes, WHAMMO! And his traps... if FettyWap hadn't already claimed it, people would call Jecklin the Trap King.

But let's be clear about what we're looking at. Yes, his endless capacity for bicep curls and lat pulldowns earned him the nickname "Powerthirst." Yes, he's six feet and 185 pounds of beastly brawn, with 8% body fat. Jecklin, 26, is often tapped to join pick-up games of basketball, beach volleyball, flag football, soccer, or softball. But he has a secret: he's terrible at those sports. "I never live up to the expectations people have of my body," he told VICE. "I'm constantly disappointing people. It's more embarrassing than anything else. I'm not as fast as people expect. Not as strong. Not as anything. I'm basically average. Secretly average."

By contrast, John Baranik, 22, is a senior at the University of Pennsylvania who regularly runs a mile in under five minutes, works out with the Penn cycling team, does 25 pushups like it's nothing, and pops high-rep bench presses of his own weight (at 172 cm, he's 68 kg). He can do sit-ups "until the cows come home," he told VICE. Baranik is gorgeous too, but he describes his body as "medium build" because he doesn't have abs. Well, not visible abs.

When Baranik worked as a mountain hiking guide in Colorado, he regularly had difficulty with the Jecklin types. "Those are the only guys who struggled in our hikes," Baranik said. "This was right by the Air Force Academy. These were military guys. And I'd be forcing fruit snacks down their throats to get them through it. They just had no idea how their bodies worked outside of a gym." Their giveaways, he said, are their protein bars and shakes, their endless peacocking about "chest days" and "leg days," and their disbelief at the fact that many skilled rock climbers often can't do pull-ups, a gym favorite that has surprisingly little real-world application.

Photo courtesy of John Baranik

These men are known colloquially as facade-bods. They are second-generation Schwarzeneggers, contemporary iterations of the chicken-legged meatheads of yesteryear. Despite the current talk about centeredness, health, fitness, self-respect, their main goal is, as one gym's slogan puts it, to #lookbetternaked.

Facade-bod types are missing the point by developing muscles that do little other than please the eye. Take biceps. "Bulging biceps are required by almost no sport. You don't need them to throw a ball, swing a bat or a racket or a punch, swim, or climb," Nic Berard, 32, who runs a physical therapy practice in Los Angeles, told VICE. "They get in the way. And yet guys want those big biceps because they want to look good in a shirt. Or without a shirt."

A glance (or glare) at underwear-model pro athletes—David Beckham, Rafael Nadal, Hidetoshi Nakata—reveals they're not that built or ripped. True athleticism, Berard noted, comes from muscles that are more hidden.

A sculpted physique can even be dangerous. "Having six-pack abs can make you as vulnerable to spine injury as having a gut," Berard said, "because what we call 'six-pack abs' are the most superficial muscles, the rectus abdominis, but real strength and stability comes from the transverse abdominis and the multifidus, which are closest to your spine, and obliques for rotational strength." He added that bench presses are "not healthy" and sit-ups are "the worst exercise you can do because they're spine-crushing." Men who build up only their pecs and biceps often develop serious shoulder damage because of a lack of "scapular stability," he said, adding, "If you want to look good, that's easy. But then that's all you get. I see a lot of injured personal trainers , actually."

There are unexpected, ineffable consequences of pursuing a body that's more, um, eff-able than functional. "I hear the worst things from girls about those guys in bed—sex with a statue, basically," Aaron Copeland, 27, a trainer in Houston and cofounder of SwoleSquad Apparel, told VICE. "I've been that guy," admitted Sanders Omoshebi, 29, a trainer in Miami who has worked as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's body double. "Sex for me was over in ten minutes," he recalled, "You're doing shitty cardio. Your hip muscles are too tight. You can't thrust. I felt sorry for the girls."

Basketball and bedroom hustle alike, Copeland noted, involves "fast-twitch muscles that don't pop when you build them. A lot of muscle that pops is unnecessary. That's for ego lifters. I can train those guys for months and never hear them talk about their actual health."

Noah Neiman, 32, a New York-based celebrity trainer with Barry's Bootcamp and founder of his own brand, Noah Neiman Fitness, laughed: "We call these guys 'all show and no go.'" Neiman, who regularly leads fitness camps with Nike, stresses benefit over brawn, which means he rarely talks with clients about how they'll look. "I keep it real. I don't talk about aesthetics. I talk about emotional benefits," he told VICE. "That way you never get frustrated because you're leaving every exercise feeling good. And, honestly, the six-pack will come quicker and stronger if you feel good. It's a tougher road when you're focused on looks. Feeling good is wealth. Looking good is new money. It gets real stupid real quick."

For his part, Jecklin, of BOOM-POW splendor, now laughs at the days he craved attention and validation so hard he'd "wear short shorts and ripped, stringy tank tops, basically being naked at the gym," he said. He segued to CrossFit until a herniated disc forcibly segued him into gymnastics. "Gymnastics is more injury-preventive," he said. "Spine, hamstring, glute, groin, shoulder flexibility. It's all better for your back." Now his goal isn't measured in pounds; he wants to be able to do the splits.

"I wish I'd been doing gymnastics my whole life," he said. "Now I can do more than I ever could." He still avoids pick-up games, though.

Brooklyn Fink faces mischief charges in BC court today

When reports that someone burned a pride flag on a university campus surfaced in February, it seemed like a pretty clear-cut case of close-minded bigotry. The University of British Columbia obviously condemned the incident, calling it "an act of hate and in contravention of the values of equity, inclusion, and respect deeply held by the university community."

(via)

Why do people even make films? Why do people write books? Why does that smelly man round the corner from my office do crap street art on the hoardings of the new Nobu hotel? Why does anyone do anything? This is a question I'm sure millions will ask in light of the news that a Tetris movie now has enough funding for "a trilogy". Tetris, the game you don't get. The game that was created in a fucking Soviet computer dungeon, with evil in every coloured block. There is going to be a film of this boring game.

The picture, which has been rumoured since 2014, finally has the financial backing it needs to inexplicably exist. It will be a China/US venture, according to Deadline, with the princely sum of $80,000,000 reportedly attached to it. We do actually have some exclusive info about the project however.

Let's have a look at the current cast of characters:

LONG BLUE BLOCK

It was all 'falling into place' for Long Blue Block, rumoured to be played by Gerard Butler, before a freak accident ruined his career, and his life. A family man, Long Blue Block was always the star of the show, being saved for the end of the game so you could slot him on on the end and delete loads of blocks at once. But tragedy struck the dreamer from small town West Virginia when he and his wife, Yellow Backwards L-Shape Block, were involved in a car accident after attending the soirée of shady Tetris billionaire Vladimir Kasparov (Jason Statham), killing his college sweetheart and turning him to drink and drugs. Long Blue Block suspects foul play, but with the police in Kasparov's pocket, how will he find justice?

UPISDE DOWN T-SHAPED PURPLE BLOCK

The beguiling and charming Upside Down T-Shaped Purple Block was a down-and-out working girl trying to make ends meet. Played by Michelle Rodriguez, the plucky block rose through Kasparov's ranks to become his right-hand woman. She begins to develop feelings for Long Blue Block, however, and seeks out the same justice she was never afforded. Where will her loyalties lie – with the man who saved her from poverty, on the juddering blue block who has stolen her heart?

Z-SHAPED GREEN BLOCK

Z-Shaped Green Block (Kevin Hart) is Long Blue Block's wise-cracking best friend from high school. The perennial sidekick, Z-Shaped Green Block begins to harbour ill feeling towards Long Blue Block, who is always the centre of attention, while he remains crushed under his peers, including the snooty, Princeton-educated Orange Square Block (Michael Cera). Is Z-Shaped Green Block in on the conspiracy? Could he ever betray his friend like that?

Yeah, this sounds like it's going to fucking suck.

More from VICE:

Discovering Nintendo's Other Forgotten Console, the Pokémon Mini

Filmmakers Still Don't Understand Video Games

I'll Never Love a Console Like I Loved the SEGA Game Gear

Iestyn Edwards poses as his alter ego Madame Galina in Iraq, 2005. All photos courtesy of Iestyn Edwards.

Think of military entertainment and what springs to mind? Vera Lynn, probably. Katherine Jenkins, perhaps. Nice-looking ladies singing melancholy songs. Lynn and Jenkins even got together in 2014 to form some kind of forces sweetheart supergroup with a duet of "We'll Meet Again".

Unlikely though, that you imagine a 17-stone male prima ballerina as being the go-to choice for an evening's light entertainment in Basra. And yet, as Madame Galina, performer Iestyn Edwards has visited Iraq and Afghanistan four times, taking to the stage in his oversized tutu and ballet shoes to treat the troops to his larger than life drag act.

Comedians have long been called upon to boost morale with the funnies, and many started their careers performing for the military: Harry Secombe, Spike Milligan, Kenneth Williams. In 2006, when Iestyn Edwards first went to Iraq with Combined Services Entertainment (the official provider of live entertainment for the British Armed Forces), he was joined by stand-ups Gina Yashere and Rhod Gilbert – whose careers have since taken off.

Born in London and raised in Wales, a life of performing was always going to be on the cards for Iestyn. From the age of four, he was touring with his parents – mother a psychic, father a singer – singing country and western songs. He's been performing as Madame Galina for the past 30 years, and is a regular on London's thriving cabaret scene.

Now, he's has written a book – My Tutu Went Awol – about his experiences performing in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as the unlikely friendships that he formed while he was there. VICE caught up with him to find out more about his time as a forces sweetheart...

VICE: Hi, Iestyn. Can you tell us where the idea of Madame Galina came from?
Iestyn: I used to sell programmes at the Royal Opera House when I was studying at Guidhall, and so I'd watch the ballet. I saw Swan Lake for the first time when I was about 20 and was obsessed with it. Stephen Fry once said that when he first read P.G. Wodehouse it was like something he'd once known really well, but had temporarily forgotten and that's exactly what ballet felt like for me – I knew what was coming next, it just all made sense. So I decided I was going to learn the role of the Swan Queen.

You weren't a trained dancer though. How did you go about learning the moves?
An ex-ballerina taught me. I realised the Swan Queen was miming something, so I asked what those mimes meant and started there. Then I added the run on and the ruffle of the feathers. And then gradually I added an arabesque or a little chassey and finally I learned to pirouette. That took me the longest.

And so how did you end up taking Galina on tours in Iraq and Afghanistan?
It started when I got asked to sing on the HMS Victory for the 200th anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar, in front of her Majesty. Afterwards, I got a letter thanking me for my performance and would I be interested in doing some more military entertainment. So I rang Combined Services Entertainment (CSE) thinking they wanted me to do my more classical numbers for officers mess, but actually they wanted Madame Galina.

They started talking about security and getting down behind the wire with the squaddies and I'm thinking 'well that sounds exciting!'

Were you surprised they wanted to a drag ballerina act out there?
People put themselves forward for some strange things for military entertainment – things like a poetry circle or women who were offering to sit knitting in a corner, just to give off a maternal vibe.

Anyway, they wanted to take drag out there, but they needed to know I had enough gob on me. At that time, I still didn't know I was auditioning to go to Iraq. They started talking about security and getting down behind the wire with the squaddies and I'm thinking 'well that sounds exciting!' And then they started talking about camel spiders in the desert and the insurgents... But I just thought it was an amazing thing to be offered, so I signed on the dotted line.

So I'm guessing you were pretty nervous?
I was terrified out of my brains. I went to Iraq first. When I got the call to tell me I was going, I had a panic attack that lasted six weeks. I remember walking along the road with my stuff to meet the tour manager who was going to drive me over to Oxfordshire to the military base, and I realised I was making a noise that was half a snort and half a scream.

What was it like when you got there?
It was madness from the beginning. I kept setting off the security alarm with my costume because I refused to put it in the hold – I always take it as hand luggage, beautifully folded. In the end the officer came over, reached into my Primark bag and pulled out my tiara. He looked at me, looked at my tiara and then to the heavens and just said, "On you go".

There's no colour in a warzone and there's this noise and this smell. It's like you've got a lawnmower filled with dirty vaseline going in your living room the whole time – that's the generators. There were desert fires on the horizon because they were burning the oil to stop the infidel from being able to use it. But then we got in a bright orange school bus with dinky gingham curtains to take us to the base and we all sang "One Man Went to Mow". It was bizarre.

Were you the first drag act to go out there?
I was the first real variety turn, and certainly the first drag act. That was the risk. I was promised that my first gig would be in a nice outlying base with some nice young squaddies to help ease in this new format. But instead it was in front of two paras, the Australian Army and the Royal Marines. Afterwards, the boss of CSE told me that she thought it was about to go horribly wrong and she'd lose her job.

Did you get any bad feeling from anyone?
Not really. Some of them were never going to get it. I watched a showreel back and the audience had been filmed – you can see that most of them are laughing but there were one or two who not only aren't laughing themselves, but they're looking at their colleagues as if to say, "why are you finding this funny?". You can see their look of disbelief.

It's not just about performing – you have to be around to entertain 24/7. I assume you weren't in character the whole time?
No, I wasn't in character the whole time, but you are supposed to be a presence there. You are with them all the time – you eat with them, hang out in the welfare centre, cheat at table football with them. I used to sit sewing my ballet shoes and the soldiers, whoever wasn't on duty, would come and sit with me and start telling their stories.

What kind of stuff would they talk to you about?
Why they signed up, fear, their families – lots of different things. They'd just start talking. I remember one guy, used to be a hairdresser on the Wirral and had stopped that to sign up. He wished he hadn't. Then there was one utterly stunning bloke in the 9th Regiment. He told me how he'd got in debt and had become a stripper, then a porn actor. He sewed my shoes for me because he was better at it.

Did anything frightening happen while you were on tour?
There was a rocket attack in Kandahar on the way to Camp Bastion found out I was running around looking for it, he went apeshit at me. When I got back to my barracks, him and his mates had taken all of my stuff out – all my make-up, shoes, everything – and wrapped it in miles and miles of cling film and left a note: "You will keep a reasonable amount of fear about you at all times." It took me hours to get it all unwrapped. That was my lesson learned.

You've stopped going out there now. Why?
I went our four times and stopped because the shock value had gone. They knew what I was going to do, they were coming at me with requests. The reason I was sent out there was to remove their mind from whatever they'd seen in the war.

Okay, thanks Iestyn!

@liv_marks

My Tutu Went AWOL! by Iestyn Edwards is published by Unbound.

More from VICE:

Shots At the Bar: Running a Nightclub in a Warzone

Photos of the Rainbow Moustaches and Spiked Leotards of London's Drag Queens

Glitter Beards, Cleavage and Gender Fucking: A Day With London's Female Drag Queens

Screenshot via Dudes Helping Dudes

We live in a world where masculinity is both frail and toxic. Men are almost four times more likely than women to commit suicide and more than six million men have depression each year in the United States, according to the National Institute of Health. That's less than the number of women who are depressed, but men are far less likely to seek help. And when guys do complain, their problems are often met with minimization or judgment. They're told to "man up."

That reality started to bother Stephen Cramer, a 42-year-old in Detroit, Michigan, when he was having marriage issues a few years ago. His now-ex-wife pointed out he was having trouble conveying his feelings, but he didn't know how to ask for help or where to turn for advice.

So he created the Facebook support group Dudes Helping Dudes (DHD), for men to ask questions and connect emotionally with other men, without the typical shitposting associated with message boards.

Online groups, on Facebook and elsewhere, have long provided a safe space for people to unload their emotions. In particular, these groups have served women—like Girl's Night In, an online sorority for women in Los Angeles, or Lolo's Logic, a group for women to discuss sex freely. Before Cramer started DHD, he hosted a forum on LiveJournal called youarenotalone, where he "encouraged people to message me and I would post their questions, so that people could get advice on anything ," he said. But Cramer didn't see a space focused on men sharing their emotions and problems with each other, until he created DHD in 2011.

The group now has almost 750 members—all men, spanning from their early 20s to late 50s. Cramer said anyone who identifies as a man, including trans men, is welcome to join, but the group is closed so only members can see the posts.

"I encourage my friends to add as many of their male friends as they'd like," Cramer told me. "I knew guys would open up to other guys if they knew it was a closed group."

Related: My Hug-Filled Attempt to Learn Why Men Are Still Bad at Sharing Emotions

Cramer said expressing himself has always been a challenge. He was depressed as a teenager, but didn't seek help until 25 years later. Even now, he sometimes struggles to articulate his feelings. There's actually a term for that—normative male alexithymia, or the phenomenon of men choking back their feelings, like "emotional mummies."

"It's a community where people are generally cool to each other. That's sort of a rare thing on the internet." — Daniel Betzner

"My dad is my male role model and he never sought counseling ," Cramer told me. "It was a daunting task because, for me, growing up, I never saw men in my life seek help."

That's hardly unusual, according to Carolyn Peterson, undergraduate director in the Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies Department at the University of Cincinnati, who says there is a pervasive stigma when it comes to men looking for emotional support.

"Boys and men in our society are terrorized into behaving and performing a specific type of masculinity that forbids sadness, vulnerability, intimacy, or anything else that is considered 'vulnerable,' and therefore feminine," she told me. "They are explicitly punished if they do not conform to this standard."

When I told her about DHD, she said she could see how a group like this would be beneficial. "For one, it is private, and this gives men a space to be authentic human beings who can reach out and connect with other men honestly and openly. They can drop the front for a minute."

The group discussion ranges from relationship and personal struggles to mental health issues and beyond. One member of the group, 37-year-old Daniel Betzner, was a cook for half his life, but he's currently on disability due to a chronic pain disorder. He confided in the group about how he was feeling and asked for advice on what to do.

"I made a post stating that I have these symptoms interfering with my work and every facet of my life," he told me. "The response was unusually positive. A lot of message boards I've posted on, I've had people make fun of me. It's good to be part of a community like that where people are generally cool to each other. That's sort of a rare thing on the internet."

Related: Men and Women Speak Different Languages on Facebook

David Finkel, 57, also turned to the group seeking advice for a fairly serious problem (which he felt comfortable disclosing there, but not here). And in turn, he's given advice to other men in the group. He recalls one post, in which a guy revealed that he was being cheated on and manipulated by his partner. His advice, like many of the other members' advice, was to end the relationship.

It doesn't matter what men decide to post—it could be a confession of relationship problems, or asking for recommendations on razors—as long as they're opening up. The only thing off limits is making fun of or belittling someone else's problem.

"Feelings aren't right or wrong. They just are," Cramer explained. "You might feel that somebody is misguided or shortsighted in something, but if they're feeling pain, they're feeling pain. You can't argue against that. If you argue their pain is irrational, that just puts a wall between you and him."

There have been times when a few of the responses, even to some of Cramer's posts, were akin to telling someone to "be a man"—to get up and do something and just get over it.

Cramer's response has always been, "No, that's what this group is for. This group is to smash that stereotype." Cramer monitors the group for negative posts and deletes them. Sometimes the posts and comments go further than just minimizing peoples' problems.

"There were some anti-gay things posted on there before," he said. "That's not cool. This is all about bringing people together and breaking down walls. If you're going to make women or gay-bashing jokes, you're not welcome here. Any jokes that minimize the struggle of anyone else are not welcome."

There were some concerns about the group excluding women, voiced by women. As a tongue-in-cheek response, Cramer started a group called, "People Helping People," which included women but didn't really take off. While Cramer understands the concern, he still thinks there is a special camaraderie in these male-only groups.

"Vulnerability in men is a tricky thing," he told me. "You saw it on the TV show Cheers, where they bonded in a certain way when it was just the guys. Guys don't always know how to talk to women and guys should open up to each other more. That's the whole reason for this."

Dudes interested in Dudes Helping Dudes can join here.

Follow Belinda Cai on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on VICE France

In recent months, France has been taken over by violent protests over a new labour bill that will loosen employment laws, and is widely perceived as a means of giving more power to employers. The movement has been particularly strong in the capital of Brittany, Rennes – with demonstrators setting cars on fire and attacking banks and government buildings on occasion.

I shot this photo series over the last three weeks around Charles-de-Gaulle square, which is located in the centre of Rennes. I feel that they reveal a very specific attitude held by the banks, who barricade themselves to prevent vandalism by the angry mobs. The truth is that clashes with police have been so tense that they haven't allowed for much damage – nothing that extends beyond a bit of paint on branches' facades. So it makes me wonder what it is the banks are hiding from.

I have been present at every demonstration of the past few months, and I often speak with protesters: "The media are shouting about a bunch of broken windows but they forget to worry about the lives that have been destroyed by banks," said one of them the other day. I feel that sums up the situation in our country pretty well.

See more of Martin's work here, and catch up with him on Twitter.

All illustrations by Joe Frontel

"I need you to keep this a secret," she said.

It was April 25, 2012. I was having lunch with my sister on a sunny day at an outdoor cafe. She tells me our father has been molesting my four younger sisters right under my nose for the last 20 years. She wasn't planning to tell me, she said, until our father died, to avoid bringing shame upon our family. But as he'd recently inherited a large sum of money and immediately asked my mother for a divorce, he was demanding to take our youngest sister, then 16, into his custody. My sister said she wanted me to work behind the scenes to keep the youngest in our mother's custody—and above all, to tell no one in the outside world what was happening.

I could not believe what I'd heard. It had never crossed my mind that my godly, devoted father was capable of molesting his own children. And yet, in that moment, I knew exactly what I had to do. If my father was raping his daughters, my father would have to go. I wasn't going to let this secret stay kept.

I called Child Protective Services that night to find out what I needed to do. They asked me to talk to my mother before I called the police. I called her that night and asked her to come over. While I waited for her to arrive, I felt like I was being taken over by a wrathful, ancient demon. As soon as she came over, I asked her if she knew what was happening. She looked at the floor. "Yes," she said quietly. "But I'll go down with my husband. God set him over me."

I lost my mind. I screamed at her so hard spittle flew out of my mouth. My face distorted with rage and despair. She just looked at the ground, saying nothing, mouth set firmly. I towered over her, swearing and accusing and interrogating. How could she let this happen to her own daughters? I demanded.

This went on for hours, with my mother refusing to budge or cooperate. Finally, I was too exhausted to go on. I sent her away with my pledge to stop at nothing to see my father go to prison for what he had done. She left quickly without speaking a word. The door slammed behind her.

Fifteen minutes later, I heard a knock on my door. It was my mother.

"Your father confessed to everything. I need you to go with me to the police station to file a report. I don't want to do it over the phone," she finally said.

I still recall my mom sitting with her legs out on the parking lot of the courthouse, back against her car. A police officer calmly taking a report. By the time we arrived back at my parents' apartment, it was already swarming with a dozen cops wearing tactical badges.

They didn't arrest him that night, but they did make him leave his home. A few weeks later, he fled the US to the Republic of Georgia with $20,000 from my parents' joint savings account. His brother is in the government there and he felt so confident in Georgia's non-extradition laws, he wrote letters to my sisters on Father's Day, blaming my mother's lack of interest in sex as the reason he molested them.

He appeared to be starting a new life, with a new LinkedIn profile and lots of Facebook posts about his adventures in his new country. We watched helplessly as our gleeful father flaunted his escape from justice.

This continued until a Russian-backed coup toppled the ruling party and with it the protection it afforded my father. Within weeks of the coup, the FBI, Interpol, and the Tbilisi Police arrested him at his apartment. He spent nearly six months in an old Soviet-era gulag before the US government found a military plane to bring him home. They didn't want to waste the money on a commercial ticket.

My parents were deeply religious. They defined their lives through piety and strict adherence to the Bible. My sisters and I were home-schooled and raised in poverty on a farm in rural Kentucky. No church was conservative enough for my parents, so they worshipped at home with us and a few others they knew who were dissatisfied with the excesses of the modern church. We spent almost all our time at home. Outside hobbies and socializing did not exist.

My father was emotionally distant and physically abusive, but I loved him. I grew up isolated and starved of physical affection, envious of my sisters who enjoyed a lot of time on my dad's lap, seeming to get lots of hugs and affection. I would learn that every time I saw my dad cuddling with my sisters, usually at the kitchen table or late at night while they played video games, he had his hands down their pants. At night, after my mother and I went to sleep, he would do worse things. I would realize later that I had witnessed my sisters being sexually assaulted in front of me every day for 20 years.

READ MORE: Canada's Vigilante Pedophile Hunters Say They're Now Working with the FBI

While my father sat in county jail awaiting his trial, he seemed intent on beating the charges leveled at him. He entered a plea of not guilty and spent the last of his resources on an expensive defense lawyer. I was afraid that he might actually beat the charges. If he did, I believed his first act of freedom would be to obtain a weapon and kill me in my sleep.

My mental health fell apart. I had a recurring nightmare every night: I was chasing my father through a huge labyrinth (sometimes a massive house full of endless rooms and hallways, sometimes an industrial complex, and sometimes the crooked, cobbled streets of an Eastern European city). He ran ahead of me, always just out of my grasp. Sometimes he would fall to his belly and slither under a vent or a crack, then leap out at me with hands outstretched to strangle me. I often woke up from these dreams choking back a scream.

I regularly had panic attacks and flashbacks so intense that I would black out, barely remembering what preceded them. The triggers were unpredictable. Sometimes a scene of deer hunters or rural life in a movie would send me into a catatonic flashback. I would be unable to move, unable to talk, almost unable to breathe. The world around me faded away, replaced with hallucinations of life on the farm with my father. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air. I experienced dissociation, anxiety attacks, and suicidal thoughts on a daily basis.

My relationship with my wife and my family rapidly deteriorated. My mother flailed, attempting to give my youngest sister into the custody of the state while trying to find a job to replace the income my father provided. Relations with my sisters were tense. The only love they'd ever known, broken as it was, had come from the man I had taken away from them. They tried to hold things together, but refused to seek therapy or any kind of help, choosing instead to stoically muscle through their pain. They took it out on me, I suppose because I was an easy target. They accused me of being emotionally toxic and mentally unstable.

After a year of trying to hold my family together, I couldn't take it any more. I had to get away. I got a new job and moved to Seattle. A couple months after, my wife of seven years began a series of affairs and then told me she was done. We filed for divorce. She was living with her parents in Tampa, Florida within four months, leaving me alone in a new city. By now, my family had mostly stopped talking to me entirely.

I lost my faith during this time, descending into a cold atheism. I studied science obsessively for over a year, reading books by Richard Dawkins and Carl Sagan. I watched every episode of NOVA and Cosmos I could find. In truth, I was on the way out of religion for a while, but I fell over the edge into nihilism. If nothing else, focusing on atoms and molecules and the endless amount of dirt and gas in the universe—real stuff—helped to ground me when it felt like everything I'd ever known was a lie. Lacking anything or anyone to pray to, I became more despondent.

I turned to sex, drugs, and heavy metal to numb the pain and make the nightmares go away. I played Nine Inch Nails at full blast in my car as I drove up and down western Washington's back roads. Marijuana, alcohol, MDMA, and magic mushrooms helped me at least keep the worst of the nightmares at bay, and gave me a fleeting feeling of happiness and tranquility. I even buried myself in work—anything to distract me. I was a sweaty, overworked, nervous mess. I rapidly gained weight and lost sleep and I put anything into my body and mind to fill the ragged hole inside.

Two years passed. My mental health was only getting worse as my father's trial approached. I got a call from the Spokane County Prosecutor on the morning of September 4, 2014. It was brief. She told me that my father pled guilty to all charges and received a sentence of 160 months. I sobbed for the entire morning, feeling every emotion it is possible to feel. I was the only member of my family to testify against my father at his sentencing hearing later that month. I held nothing back in my testimony against him. I hoped the judge would give him the longest possible sentence the law allowed. She did.

READ MORE: Realizing You're a Pedophile Can Make You Want to Kill Yourself

My father now resides in Coyote Ridge Correctional Facility in eastern Washington. I haven't spoken to him since the night I called the police.

Relationships between fathers and sons are complicated under the most ideal circumstances. Millions of years of evolution drive an instinct that compels sons to learn from their fathers, to become like them, but also to rebel against them, to be different, to be a force of change in the tribe. I took a chainsaw to the fabric of social order, and I paid the price. As bad a man as my father is, I still struggle with the guilt of placing the man I loved and admired for so long into a cramped, violent cage where, as a pedophile, his life is constantly at risk. I know he is where he deserves to be, and I know society is safer with him behind bars, yet the pain of knowing I put him there still lingers.

With time, however, I have finally started to experience some healing. I have more good days than bad ones now. I am comfortable being single for the first time since my divorce, without jumping into co-dependent relationships just to feel safe.

Can I forgive my father? Does he deserve forgiveness? What could he possibly say to me or anyone else that would make restitution for what he did? Sometimes I want to make the long drive through eastern Washington's dusty highways to visit him, just to look him in the eye, to see him in his prison jumpers, a guard lording over him. But what could I hope to get from seeing my father, a broken old man only two years into his sentence?

I think about all those nights back on the farm in Kentucky when my father would stay up late, tearfully memorizing Bible verses about being washed in the blood of Jesus for the forgiveness of sin. If it was a sign of a guilty conscience, it was the only one my father ever showed.

I've always been obsessed with the "all you can eat" buffet. Growing up as the youngest of six, we raced through dinner to see if we could beat one another to seconds while there was enough left. This has given me anxiety around food and the instinct to eat quickly, abruptly, and at volume. So from the moment I first gazed on one of those buffets, I was inspired. This was an environment where I could eat without pressure, where the food was never going to run out. It didn't take me long to realize, however, that they're an absolute sham, mainly because most of the food available in buffets is so starchy and filling that you can hand in your dignity and try to eat like Gary Barlow in '94, and still only swallow 50 cent's worth.

At 13, I used to try my best to maximize the experience: eating until I was too full to move, schlepping my way to the toilet, making myself sick, and going back for more like a hedonistic Roman nobleman. It wasn't the best con, really, and it just made me feel like shit. So I stopped going to all you can eats. The love affair ended.

Then a couple of years ago, I moved to London. Broke and in the city of greed, I got obsessed again. How can I maximize their value? How do I beat the system? The house can't always win. After many sleepless nights, jotting into my notepad, by God, I had it. Four different cons crafted carefully with one purpose: to take down the man and to finally get our fair fill of an all you can eat buffet.

CHEEKY NANDO'S

I start my con in Brixton, where it is far, far too hot. With this A4 paper complexion of mine, I desperately need a drink to curb my headache and sandpaper tongue. But that's not an option because I have no cash, and I've managed to lose my debit card for the third time in four months. All I have in my pockets is a set of keys, a pen lid, and a receipt from last night's Nando's. I ordered: one extra hot wrap, corn on the cob, and a bottomless drink. I drank: one glass of Diet Coke. One glass! That's not bottomless, that's no refills. They're making a killing off of hapless optimists like me. In a moment of madness, possessed by desperation and dehydration, I stand up like I'm ready for a tank on Tiananmen Square. I take an empty bottle into the Nando's on Stockwell Road and walk straight up to the machine to get my fill.

I stop nervously to take a sip of out of my two liter bottle. No cold hand on the shoulder, no rushing manager, not even a glance: Nobody gives a shit. So I carry on for a few minutes, sipping and filling until eventually leaving absolutely gobsmacked (literally, my teeth are aching). It is one of the most liberating experiences of my life. Could I come back in a week, a few months, or a year and sip on a Fanta? Who knows, but I am chalking this one down as a win. I'll never go thirsty again.

THREE MEALS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE

The next day, I show up in Camberwell with a new plan: to spend the whole day eating all of my meals at a Chinese all you can eat, working on my laptop in between. I've never actually been in the place, and whenever I look through its windows, it seems to have that sordid, saddened air of a DMV. But inside, it's actually buzzing. Regulars are giggling and fist-bumping the guy behind the counter. It's like Cheers, but everybody is Norman. I plan to eat sensibly, but with the locals lining up, piling their plates high, I guess I succumb to peer pressure. Breakfast is an arid mountain of noodles, rice, fries, and seaweed. I go back for seconds and then thirds. After half an hour, I'm as good as done. If you ever want to see the look of someone who hates him or herself, just watch the door of an all you can eat.

It's a chore, trying to function when you feel like several bladders of vegetable oil. The place empties and fills again, hours pass, Years & Years play on the sound system, and still none of the staff say a word to me. There's not too much more I can stomach by lunchtime. Looking at more spring rolls and Singapore noodles, I feel a bit sick. I'm not sure for exactly how long, but I fall asleep at the table after lunch. It's 17:30 by the time I can face dinner, and it turns out I learned nothing from the breakfast fiasco. With that, it's over. It's pretty fucking incredible that—in the city where a pint costs you €6—you can eat an unlimited amount of food for as long as you want for €9. On the way out, I ask the guy if it's OK or normal for people to stay for as long as I have today. He shrugs, looks up at the clock, and says "Sure, you only stayed for six hours and fifty minutes. It's cool, brother."

STRICTLY BUSINESS

I head to an extraordinary establishment situated upstairs at Victoria train station. Twelve different types of pizza on the buffet and 20-odd pasta dishes, being refilled every 20 minutes—it's an artisan beauty in the buffet universe. So it made sense for me to slip into a work outfit, sweep my hair back, and blend in with the commuter clientele. And it works: They sit me in a prime window seat; maybe they think I'm Steve Parish? In 30 minutes, I eat what I want, and a little bit more. Wiping my mouth with tissue as I get the bill, I ask if it's OK for me to take a slice or two home for the foxes in my garden. They say, "It's against policy, sorry." Fine. Sometimes you just have to play by the rules and accept something for what it is. Let me just take my briefcase, and I'll be on my merry way. I must not forget my briefcase, you see, because I'm a businessman, and it's filled with important documents, meeting minutes, and...

Pizza! Endless pizza—stacks of it. The MacGuffin of my story. I won't take one or two slices, I'll go for 26, thank you. Like an Andy Dufresne captivated by greed instead of freedom, with every plate I took from the buffet, I'd eat one and covertly slip three or four into my foil-lined case. They didn't see it coming. That's dinner for three or four days taken care of for about €10. Boom!

SEEING DOUBLE

See that photo? No, that isn't an illusion. Your monitor is not broken, and you do not have a duplication virus. That's my friend Gavin Sparks and me, and we're gearing up to pull off the finest ruse Wimbledon has seen since the invention of Greg Rusedski's hairline. We're going to Jimmy's.

For the uninitiated, Jimmy's Restaurants run the tightest ship on the buffet scene—they'll throw you out for looking at one of their chefs funny. The Nando's, Chinese, and pizza places were benevolent but small-time. This, my friends, is the big time, and it's going to take more than a poxy briefcase or Evian bottle to pull the wool over their eyes. That's why I got my main man Mr. Sparks in. So the heist goes like this: Sparks strolls into Jimmy's at 17:55, he orders a buffet and a Cobra beer.

After enjoying their worldwide scope of world class cuisine until his appetite is quenched and drinking exactly half of the beer, he will send a text to me. I will then ring him. When he feels that vibration in his pocket, Gavin will answer and lackadaisically stroll outside to take the call. Chatting, he'll dawdle out of the window's vision to the right of the restaurant. He will carry on walking until he passes me, who will have been walking down the street on the phone to Gavin. I enter Jimmy's on my phone and end the call. Taking his seat at the same table on the left-hand side of the restaurant, I will take a sip of Cobra and fill my boots. At precisely 18:56, I will ask for the bill and pay for exactly one buffet and one beer. Genius, right? I know, it's one of the best.

So, did the whole thing come off without a hitch? Did we each come away from the glittering heist with a bellyful of diamonds and a smile? For legal reasons, I'll let you figure that one out.

In many ways, I spent the past four days tasting complex carbohydrates, syrup-based sauces, and different types of oil, but what I really tasted was freedom. The essence of freedom, on tap. It turns out that you can literally do whatever you like at a buffet for stock market crash prices—there is no limit. All You Can Eat is liberty and love; it may well be the most open-minded, independent, and emancipating culture that exists in 21st-century Britain.

Follow Oobah Butler on Twitter.

Spend a semester in college and you'll appreciate just how much students juggle. For 12 weeks a semester there's a barrage of assignments, homework, tests, and group study sessions—with work and life somehow squeezed in between.

As VICE has previously detailed, it's this stress that turns many to Nootropics: a new wave of grey market cognitive enhancers. Armed with these, students feel they no longer need to choose between their social lives and study. At the cost of sleep, they can do both.

With exams looming for students around Australia, we asked students what study drugs they plan on using.

Duncan, 20

VICE: Hey Duncan, what's your favorite study drug?
Duncan: I've tried Adderall and Modafinil. I'd definitely say Modafinil.

Why Modafinil?
It provides a really natural sense of focus. It gives you a drive. You want to study. It really stops me procrastinating.

How do you get your hands on it?
If you know someone who has it you can buy it, which is what I have done in the past. Recently, I just ordered it online. There's online pharmacies that specialize in selling Modafinil. It delivers to Australia in about ten days, like ordering something from eBay.

Each time you stock up, how much would you be spending?
If I buy in bulk—about 100 at a time—the price comes to about $1.50 per pill.

Can you describe what a typical Modafinil study session looks like?
I normally do it with mates. Everyone's on the same level, no one is really talking. Normally we get up at around 6 AM, have a big breakfast, take a dosage, then study for a solid 12 hours with food breaks here and there.

Do you ever worry about whether it's fair on other students if you're using study drugs?
If I'm paying all that money, and spending three or more years of my life studying so that I can build the career I want... Is it unfair to your co-workers to stay late at the office, log extra hours, take on a higher workload, and sacrifice more to get that promotion? I don't think so. All I'm doing by taking Modafinil is optimizing my efficiency.

If it's unfair then so is drinking coffee to study, paying for a tutor to help with work, or working in a group to study. It has zero impact on anyone else, and for that reason I don't believe it's unfair or unethical.

Anna, 18

Hey Anna, what's your favorite study drug?
Marijuana.

Okay, I haven't heard that one before. Why is it your favorite?
I love marijuana, regardless of whether I'm studying or not. It helps me when I study because I'm a perfectionist, so coursework can cause a lot of stress. When I'm high, I feel relaxed and more confident in my ability to do the work.

What do your friends use to help themselves study—anyone else find weed helpful?
A lot of them don't use stuff, but I do know people who have used Ritalin and Adderall. I'd be keen to try both one day.

Why did you start smoking weed to help you study?
Usually I would wait until after studying to treat myself. But I was blazed as fuck one night and realized I had school work that needed to be done by the next day, so I did it when I was high and found it surprisingly easy.

How do you get your hands on it?
I buy off friends, and friends of friends. I've been buying for a long time so I've made a lot of connections.

Do you ever make dumb mistakes when you're doing assignments high?
Only little things like getting distracted and forgetting the question, or forgetting what I'm writing about mid-paragraph.

Krystal, 22

Hey Krystal, which study drugs have you tried?
A few forms of Modafinil and some No Doz. There are a few different dosages: Waklert, Artvigil, Modvigil, Modalert.

Modafinil definitely seems to be the most popular. What's your favorite type?
Waklert. It's a slightly different drug. Similar to Modafinil but it's a bit more intense and lasts longer.

How do you normally get Waklert?
The internet. It's shipped from India.

Have you looked into whether that's legal or not?
I haven't looked up how legal modafinilcat is. I was referred to it so I trusted it on that basis.

Why did you start using Waklert?
A friend of a friend was dealing it from Sydney. She'd buy a few hundred pills at a time and sell them to her friends. That friend passed a few onto me.

When do you normally take it?
Generally only for all-nighters. The night before something is due to punch it out. The other day I got up at 8 AM then took some around 8 PM. I rolled through until 9 AM the next day. I probably could have kept going but I was like, nah I should have a nap.

Does Waklert help you to feel less stressed when you're studying?
It puts you in the shit when it wears off, and it messes with your sleeping pattern. I wouldn't say it alleviates stress. It probably causes more later down the track.

If it messes with you, why do you keep using it?
It really assists with study emergencies, it means I don't have to freak out about staying awake or not. I'm pretty set in the way I study so all-nighters are normal for me anyway, it just helps me stay awake.

Robbie, 22

Robbie, what's your favorite study drug?
Modafinil.

Why is it your favorite?
It lasts for the entire day and it's really cheap. It doesn't have too much of a crash either.

How do you usually get your hands on it?
Online, I found some website that sells it real cheap.

Online seems to be the go. How did you get started using it?
Some friends were talking about how they could get their hands on Ritalin, then Dexys. We tried those and they were pretty good but they didn't last long and I'd feel pretty shit afterwards. We got our hands on Modafinil and just went from there.

Are you ever worried that you'll become reliant on it? Do you think you'll still use it after you graduate and start working?
Not really, I try as often as I can to take time off it and I can go to work easily without it. I don't think I could work 9 AM to 5 PM, five days a week, and be popping Mods all the time.

I've heard it can really mess with your sleeping patterns. How often do you take it?
I take it in the morning or around lunch time so for me, it doesn't really mess with my sleeping pattern. I would take it once or twice a week during semester and a lot more during the exam period. Maybe up to four days per week.

Why do you think students increasingly turn to drugs like Modafinil to help them study?
I think it's just the lifestyle that students live. They have to go to uni and work as well. They're gonna go out a fair bit, too. You're constantly in a state of needing some kind of stimulation.

*Some names changed for privacy.

Follow Scott Renton on Twitter.

If trust issues weren't bad enough, this study probably makes it sting a bit more. Photo via Flickr user Tuncay Coskun

Read more: Are Young People Really More Open to Polyamory, or Do We Just Like to Cheat?

In what comes as zero surprise to anybody under the age of 40, a new study looking at long-term relationships found that the reason we have trouble settling down is because we're constantly analyzing and searching for a better, more-compatible match.

The research published this month from University of Texas looked at 119 men and 140 women who were in long-term relationships and discovered that partners chose each other based on an algorithm of 27 qualities, including attractiveness (of course), intelligence (good to know), health (fair enough), and financial responsibility (fuck).

The researchers then divided up the couples by the partner who was generally more desirable and the partner who was generally less desirable, based on the qualities described above (ie. the reacher and the settler).

The team found that when the more the desirable partner was exposed to other people who fit their ideal needs, it was harder for that person to remain loyal and affectionate to their significant other. If the partner was less desirable, they remained satisfied and were more likely to stay committed to their relationship.

Daniel Conroy-Beam, a psychology researcher and one of the lead members on the study, told VICE the partners who were more desirable sometimes do make their relationships work, but only if that person has a limited number of options to upgrade from their existing relationship.

Conroy-Beam added that, while the study didn't look at couples long enough to conclude that imbalanced relationships were bound for doom, he expects that most of the pairings would begin to see rifts once the more desirable person's status allowed them to meet more people at their calibre—or if the other person's desirability dropped too low.

"We know that we have these kind of ideal preferences for what we'd want in a mate in a perfect world. We know what people desire, but it hasn't been very clear what these desires do," he told VICE. "This was us trying to find out if we can use our desires to predict what's going on in our actual relationship."

In follow-up research, the team looked at how partners who experienced strained relationships coped with or tried to keep those bonds together. Once again, the researchers found that those who were less desirable or had fewer options tried to keep the relationship going longer and reported higher levels of happiness. These partners would also make more of an effort to keep their partners from seeing other people (referred to in the research as "mate shielding") and worked harder to make themselves more attractive.

Conroy-Beam says that the team didn't look directly at social media as a factor—noting that the need to upgrade is a "fundamental part of human nature." Rather, he believes the mating environment has "changed dramatically over the last few years" with dating apps like Tinder, which may exacerbate our inability to commit.

"The psychology has always been the same, but the dynamics have changed because the mating environment has changed," he told VICE. "This behavior has evolved over a long period of time where we as humans have been exposed to relatively small groups of mates, but now, with modern technology, we have access to a functionally infinite number of mates."

Follow Jake Kivanç on Twitter.

Screenshot from ad for HeWee (via YouTube)

I don't know about you, but I have the bladder strength of a pissed-up newborn baby. Sometimes I think that when I drink liquids, they don't pass through my exhibition of internal organs; rather, there is a secret tunnel, like a water slide, with a direct link to the tip of my goddamned dick. I get pretty tired of the rigmarole of pissing. I can't believe we have Snapchat filters that turn you into a centaur or whatever but I still have to leak urine out of myself with little control over when and where I do it. I don't really want to be doing anything that a primordial human also did. I don't draw tits on a cave wall with my blood and shit, so I don't really feel like doing this either.

Thank god, then, that a charitable genius has invented the HeWee Go. Created by Custom Divers a couple of years ago, purveyors of all things diving, the HeWee allows the user to insert his penis into a tube and dribble his ammonia water in a tear-resistant pouch. Quite why divers, people underwater in the sea, AKA the only place other than a toilet that it's socially acceptable to piss without guilt or reprimand, would need such a device is a point of confusion, but hey, who am I to say?

Other than pissing next to some crabs in the ocean, you wonder whether using this apparatus in real-life settings would be awkward. Could you really be comfortable sitting in a restaurant with a friend, knowing that at any point he could be pissing into a bag? Watching a film at the cinema? Guy's pissing mere centimetres from you. But when you go to a toilet cubicle, you sometimes have to bear horrible witness to the tempest of farts and turds bellowing out of the guy in the stall next door, brown nuggets clattering mutely against the inner bowl like fecal dodgems – and it's really no different from that. It's a lot better, actually. I hate when I have to listen to that. It makes me sick.

The device is available for €115. Get one so you can stare your dad in the eye over a Sunday roast while you piss your pants, and he's none the wiser.

@joe_bish

More from VICE:

Drinking Camel Urine in Yemen

We Found a Piss Dungeon in a Pub

This Poo Painting of Mark Zuckerberg Is the Digital Era's 'Piss Christ'

Photo by Petr Kratochvil via.

It can be hard to imagine this, but parents are people too. They were people before you existed. They were people when you existed, but weren't an actual person yet. When you arrived, they had hopes and dreams for what you might be. They gazed at the fleshy shit generator you were at the time, and wondered what kind of person you would become – what your talents would be, whether you'd be smart, funny, happy and sweet. What you'd mean to the people around you. They saw a clean slate, a chance to right what they had wronged in their lives, a promise for a brighter future.

Your parents are people, but to be fair: they used to be deeply naive people. They know better now. Of course you're making the same mistakes they've made, and of course you didn't become a heart surgeon with a flourishing and fulfilling family life. It's likely that you have no idea what to do with your life and your Media Studies degree. You drink too much most nights – much like your mum. Well, as long as you're happy, they're happy. But are you, really? Happy? Are they?

We asked some friends all over Europe to talk to their parents about whether their lives are turning out like their parents hoped they would.

Benn, 23, United Kingdom

Benn works in a call centre

Benn: So is working in a call centre what you had in mind for me?
Benn's dad: To be honest, as you know, you weren't really planned. I never felt ready for you, so I'm just happy you're 23 and haven't been on Jeremy Kyle yet. It's a bit of a piss-take that you dropped out of your O levels or whatever it was.

They were A levels.
Yeah, same shit. You're 23 and cleverer than me – plus you make about the same amount of money I do, so good on you.

What did you expect me to be doing by this age?
I always wanted you to grow up to do something where you can get rich quick – like working in finance or something. Because if you're doing something where you've only "made it" by the time you're 50, I'll be too old to give a shit. I never really had a plan for what you should be doing. You got into grammar school by yourself, and I was always proud of that. Most of what you've done since has been a gift to see, really.

What would you want for me in the future?
I doubt you even care what I want. Just to be happy, have enough money, stay out of debt and maybe make me an ugly grandchild one day.

Isa, 38, Spain

Isa plays bass and sings in Triángulo de Amor Bizarro.

Isa: What did you imagine I would be like when I grew up?
Isa's mum: Well, I raised you in all the freedom to make your own decisions. I always said that you can be whatever you want, but you have to work and take care of yourself. We don't have any connections in the government and you're not an heiress. Our family has always been dedicated to photography, so I probably thought photography would be something you'd be interested in.

What do you think of what I do now?
I never could have imagined that you'd live off of playing music. Maybe as a hobby, yes, but nothing more. I always thought that was only for people who are very lucky and can afford it. I think you're very lucky. And the music you play isn't very commercial but I think the songs on your last album are beautiful. And it shows how much you've grown and how hard you have been working on it — you were so nervous and unbearable for a while that I was afraid to ask you about it.

Are you disappointed? Surprised?
Look, you keep asking me the same questions. I have to run, I have to take the cake to grandma's and bring the dog over. Don't forget that Sunday is Mother's Day. We eat at half past two.

Andrada, 27, Romania

Andrada is getting a PHD in Visual Arts and works at an art gallery.

Andrada: When I was born, what did you think I'd grow up like?
Andrada's mum: There's a Romanian custom called "tăierea moțului" – which means cutting the baby's hair for the first time. This happens when the baby turns one. The custom says that you present the baby with a tray with different objects on it, and the baby chooses three objects from the tray that will reveal what he or she will be doing in his or her life. I decided to follow this custom when you turned one. First you chose money, then a calculator and, lastly, a pen. So I've always thought money, computers and writing would play an important role in your career and in defining your personality.

Did you want me to do anything in particular?
I wanted you to become someone cultured – to read, learn and pass what you've leaned on to others.

Does that mean you're happy with what I've become?
I think that you are on a path that suits your ambitions, your personality and your dreams. I'm happy with what you've achieved, but that's less important. What really matters is that you are happy and satisfied with what you are doing and the person you are.

Micha, 31, Germany

Photo by Katja Bartolec

Micha is a managing partner with an IT and marketing startup, and a musician.

Micha: What were your hopes for my life and my career when I was little?
Micha's mum: My first wish, like any mother's, was that you'd have a healthy and happy life. I was not thinking about your professional future at the time. I think that may have started when you were about 12. I always knew music would be a part of you for the rest of your life. Of course I hoped you might be able to make a living with your music, but I also wanted you to have a backup plan. That's why I was really happy you wanted to study sound engineering.

Have I ever disappointed you with my life choices?
Well, there have been times when I wasn't exactly proud. When you started smoking pot at 15 or when I had to pick you up at the train station because you were blackout drunk, for example. But those were luckily just temporary lapses. You've never really disappointed me.

So no disappointment. Any other concerns?

When you lost your right arm and almost died in that accident, I thought I would die from worry. Of course I calmed down when it became clear that you'd make it but I was still horribly concerned about how you would cope with the fact that they couldn't save your arm. Music and playing guitar were your life – you played every single day. One or two days after you woke up from your coma, you said to me: "Where's the point in sitting in a corner and feeling sorry for myself?" Shortly after, when you were still in the hospital, you asked for your guitar and started playing again – with one hand. In that moment, I was so incredibly happy and so very proud of you.

Sonia, 25, Italy

Sonia studies Urban Planning and contributes to Noisey Italy.

Sonia: What were your expectations of me when I was a baby?

Sonia's mum: Your father and I did our best to have you grow up as a strong, independent woman who'd get a good job. As for your love life – I didn't think about it too much when you were a child. I just hoped you weren't going to suffer, although on a rational level I knew that's impossible. I hoped love wouldn't traumatise you, anyway.

What did you think I would become, then?
I wanted you to study medicine – let's say that was my dream for myself. I have to admit I did my best to make it happen, but it didn't. Anyway, I've learned to appreciate different things. For example, bringing you up in Italy while we grew up in Peru made me discover so many new aspects about this country. Your father and I became parents, but we also found a new, strong tie to the country and culture we moved and lived in. We didn't think it was possible to integrate fully, but now – thanks to you – we know it is.

Did you ever think the fact that I was born from immigrant parents would make growing up harder for me?
No, on the contrary – it strengthened your personality. Maybe you've felt a bit uneasy about it at times, but I think it gave you a more critical view on society and I'm happy with that. You've never used your background to justify any problem or fear, and I've never heard you complain about being discriminated against. I sincerely hope you've never been mistreated because your parents came from a different country.

Nils, 25, The Netherlands

Nils is a junior editor at VICE's Netherlands office

Nils: When I was younger, what were your expectations for me as a grown-up?
Nils' mum: You were always writing things as a kid and you learned to read and write at a very young age. So I guessed you were going to be a writer of some kind pretty early on. Just last week I found this story you wrote when you were about eight years old, and it was very well written.

Thanks! So you could say I lived up to your expectations?
Well, I did expect you to do a lot better in school. You did very well when you were younger, but your father and I were quite concerned about it when you were in secondary school and at university. I still think it's a shame you never finished uni, but now that you work in an actual office I guess I can't really complain.

You're not disappointed in me?
As a mum you just hope your baby won't end up in the gutter, hooked on alcohol and drugs. Well, at least you're not in the gutter, are you? So that's nice.

Alexandra, 27, Greece

Alexandra is trained as an actress but works in the private sector.

Alexandra: What did you want my life to be like, when I was a kid?
Alexandra's mum: I wished that you'd be happy and achieve whatever you wanted to achieve.
Alexandra's dad: I certainly wished better things for you than what your life is like now.

How do you feel about what I've accomplished so far?
Alexandra's mum: I feel fine about it, because I see you're happy with your life and your choices.
Alexandra's dad: I'd say it's okay – at best.

Are you disappointed with me or proud of me?
Alexandra's mum: I'm proud of you but I'm also disappointed. I'm proud because everyone keeps telling me lovely things about you. But I'm disappointed because you wanted something different from life, but then your plans and your circumstances changed. I don't agree with the choices you're making now.
Alexandra's dad: Somewhere in the middle. You have a good personality – I think if the conditions in this country were better, I could even be proud of you.

Pierre, 28, France

Pierre is customer advisor at a bank.

Pierre: What do you think of the person I am today?
Pierre's mum: You've learnt to assert yourself in your life choices and in front of other people – at least it looks like you have. You look like you are in full bloom – in your work and in your personal life, and that's what matters most to us.

When I was younger, did you ever picture me working at a bank?
Pierre's dad: Well, to be honest, we always thought you would end up in some kind of artistic job. You were rather good at playing the drums and drawing. Boy, were we wrong.

Are you ever worried about my future?
Pierre's mum: We often think that we really wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Everything looks so complicated and unsure these days. When we were young, we just had to ask for a job to get an interview. Now it seems impossible.

More on VICE:

How to Deal with Living with Your Parents in Your Twenties

Things You Only Know When Both Your Parents Are Dead

People Told Us the Worst Things They Ever Did to Their Parents

Christopher in the pool area of the Martinez. All photos by the author

In 2011, a seagull at the Cannes Grand Hyatt knocked a glass of wine over the French actress Sophie Marceau, just minutes before the Braveheart star was to walk the red carpet. It wasn't the first time the Hyatt's VIP guests had been attacked while dining, so the hotel decided to hire a team of vicious birds to scare the shit out of the gulls.

Christopher Puzin is Cannes' resident Hawk trainer. He's in charge of five birds swooping around several waterfront hotels, where most festival VIPs stay during the festival.

We visited Puzin and his bird crew to get the details.

Killer instinct eyes

VICE: So Christopher, you're a Fauconnerie. What does that mean?
Christopher Puzin: It means my job is to scare the seagulls away with hawks. This is because the seagulls come to the tables, take the food, and break the glasses. It's not good for the guests. A glass of wine on their clothes, just before the red carpet, really not good! We're here for ten days, protecting the most prestigious guests during the festival.

What sort of hawks are you using?
The species we're using is a Harris Hawk—they're from Arizona, California, and Texas. He flies free and attacks seagulls who would otherwise come near the guests and their food, because they are so used to people.

Just some maybe-celebrities living the good life

Is this the first time you've done this for Cannes?
No, we've worked for the festival for five years. Ever since Sophie Marceau had wine spilt on her right before a premiere. It was very bad.

I've been a Fauconnerie for 25 years now—it's a passion. Here in Cannes we have two Fauconneries, and four in total in our team. This is the only festival we do it for, but we work in towns, and big supermarkets to keep pigeons and sparrows away. All the species that cause problems. We have 21 birds in total.

Another member of Puzin's team, another pair of Oakleys

Tell me, how do you train a hawk?
After four months of training, we put them on one of these special gloves, where the bird sits and eats out of my hand for the whole day. After that, he spends five months flying free. Then we train them how to kill the prey: seagulls, crows, pigeons. After that, they're ready for the job.

So they kill the seagulls?
If he catches them, yes. But in Cannes, the idea is just for the birds to scare them. If he sees a pigeon or seagull, he attacks it. But if there aren't any they don't fly, they just wait here on the ground. The birds are quite friendly though, they're not dangerous to us. The birds we've got here at the Hyatt are three, five, two, and four years old. They live to the age of 20 and they are very intelligent—they are the only animals in the world, aside from wolves, that hunt cooperatively in a group.

A chicken neck treat

Isn't it a bit mean to make them work all day?
These birds don't live in the wild in France, but they are happy. Our mission is to protect both the predator and prey by restoring the order of the ecosystem. So even if the hawks kill seagulls or pigeons, this is what happens in nature. We've changed the behavior of animals by changing the environment—urban, industrial, and rural, thereby creating an imbalance.

In order to survive, some animals have adapted or taken advantage of their new environments, like pigeons. The aim of falconry is to scare species that cause pollution or harm. But we address each problem specifically, taking into account the environment. Falconry is one of the best ways we have to control this stuff today.

Also we reward the birds a lot, feeding them as often as possible—which is essential for their motivation and desire. Usually we give them chicks, quails, pigeons, chicken necks, duck necks, turkey necks. We also give them minerals, supplements, and vitamins.

Do you have a favorite?
Yes. A golden eagle, Koomba. He's not here though, he's too big, he has a wing-span of 2.6 meters —the guests are afraid of him. He's my favorite because he's very, very strong. He's killed a hare, a fox, and, once, a deer.

Follow Livia Albeck-Ripka on Twitter.

Game of Thrones is a show on television. It's about a cast of kooky characters just trying to make their way in the world, and boy, do they get themselves in some sticky situations! For instance, sometimes they kill, rape, and disfigure each other. TV fans can't get enough of this exciting stuff. "Did you watch last night's Game of Thrones?" people ask me sometimes. "No," I say, because I don't really follow the show.

Anyway, every week HBO sends out some still photos from the upcoming episode, and on Wednesday they did that again. They are pretty good, I guess. Here they are:

Photo by Macall B. Polay/HBO

A big part of living in the Game of Thrones world is standing outside and looking at something. Here are a couple characters doing just that.

Photo by Helen Sloan/HBO

Another important thing that happens in the show is that they stand inside, sometimes facing each other, sometimes not.

Photo courtesy of HBO

There's a part of the show that is in the snow and this is from that part. Is the ugly guy going to pull out his sword and, like, chop the other guy's head off? Wow. Tune in if you want to find out!

Photo by Helen Sloan/HBO

Whoa, are those actual faces, or just, like, parts of statues?!? Pretty crazy either way.

Photo by Helen Sloan/HBO

If you live in the Game of Thrones world, a lot of times you have to focus or you won't know what's going on. This guy, whoever he is, seems pretty intent on not missing anything. Good for him!

Photo by Helen Sloan/HBO

This is one of those "sneak peeks" at the upcoming episode that excites fans because it raises so many questions: Is that woman on the right the same woman who was standing inside a couple photos up? It is, right? Where are these characters? Are they having a nice time?

Photo by Helen Sloan/HBO

I'm not sure what this woman is doing. I hope things work out for her though. You never know what's going to happen next in Game of Thrones! It's on Sunday, I think.

To turn on English subtitles, click "CC" and change the language to English.

Going off an accident report obtained by VICE News, stating that a North Korean welder lost his life in the CRIST shipyard in the Polish seaport of Gdynia, VICE News filmmakers Sebastian Weis and Manuel Freundt have uncovered which companies are using North Koreans labourers in Poland.

Weis' and Freundt's investigation has revealed the conscious and unwitting beneficiaries of these exploitative working conditions. The filmmakers were able to speak with North Korean labourers who have been isolated and kept under watch, and who were probably too afraid of punishment to report their living and working conditions in Poland.

VICE News has gained exclusive access to documents that reveal the wages of North Korean labourers in Poland before the Kim regime's deductions. VICE News has gained access to confidential documents such as service contracts, payment records, registers of persons, passport copies and excerpts from a population register smuggled out of North Korea, the latter indicating that a Polish company is likely being run by a high-ranking member of the North Korean military.

The documentary unravels a complex web of organised exploitation, bureaucratic chaos, official indifference and political ignorance that extends all the way to the European Commission. Most of all, the film shines a light on working conditions that can only be described as forced labour, as defined in the European Convention on Human Rights and by the International Labour Organisation.

The documentary poses the question of whether the presence of North Korean forced labourers in Poland is a bureaucratic system error, or rather the result of economic policy that turns a blind eye to the consequences of its actions, as long as European companies profit, while the Kim regime bypasses international sanctions to fill state coffers with foreign currency.

Donald Trump will be the Republican Party's 2016 presidential nominee, which means he could well become the most powerful man on Earth. Given his extreme stances on issues that impact black and brown people (young blacks need more "spirit"), immigration (he wants to build his famous wall to keep out "rapists"), and terrorism (he wants to ban Muslim immigration and possibly put Muslim citizens in a database), it's easy to understand why so many young people are baffled that the divisive real estate mogul and reality TV star's candidacy has made it this far.

Of course, Trump isn't the first modern Republican candidate to lead a mainstream campaign so xenophobic it snagged the support of white supremacists. Back in 1964, Republican presidential nominee Barry Goldwater was backed by segments of the Ku Klux Klan. The infiltration of white supremacists into the center of the national conversation was no surprise to black nationalist Malcolm X back then, who felt the rise of Goldwater was not some aberration, but instead a reflection of core American values. In fact, in an op-ed in the Saturday Evening Post just weeks before the general election, Malcolm cynically wrote that Goldwater was better than Lyndon B. Johnson, the Democratic incumbent who had just passed the most important civil rights law in US history, because "black people at least know what they are dealing with."

(Both Trump and Goldwater eventually disavowed the KKK, but that did not stop fringe white supremacists from continuing to champion their candidacies.)

According to Zaheer Ali, a scholar and expert on Malcolm X, the 20th-century black icon may well have viewed Trump's candidacy in a similar vein, and might have argued he's just laying bare bigotry essential to American culture. Although it's always a bit dangerous to extrapolate on what historical figures like Malcolm X might say or do in a modern context—something Ali warned me about repeatedly—I think Malcolm's insight can be useful in sizing up what's happening right now in US politics and what the potential presidency of man like Trump means for black and brown people.

If Malcolm X were still with us, he would be celebrating his 91st birthday this week. His life was cut short on February 21, 1965, when he was assassinated by three members of Nation of Islam (NOI), a religious and political movement for which he once served as national spokesperson. Before his death, Malcolm X managed to channel the rage he had over being terrorized by white supremacy, first into crime, then into black nationalism with the Nation of Islam, and finally into a sort of global-minded humanism. It was through those life transitions that he acquired the wisdom reflected in his scathing analysis on the black experience in America.

To properly apply the philosophy and ideas of Malcolm X to the Trump question, I forced Malcolm X expert Zaheer Ali to venture deeper into the realm of conjecture. Here's how Ali thinks Malcolm X might view the positions of prospective presidential candidate Donald Trump in 2016.

VICE: There seems to be extreme anxiety around Trump possibly taking office. In a general sense, what would a potential Donald Trump presidency mean to Malcolm X?
Zaheer Ali: Malcolm X did not view American politics in the same dire circumstances that many of us do today. Malcolm X had transcended his American national identity. He was not an American nationalist—to that extent, he did not feel that his fate rested in the hands of whoever sat in the White House. Malcolm X argued for a transnational identity and movement for black people in the United States. He wanted to shift the black civil rights struggle to a human rights struggle, which elevates it to an international concern. To that end, Malcolm X spent much of the last years of his life abroad. In general, he did not think it was wise for black people in America to hang all of our hopes on the outcome of a presidential election. So it is important to think of his work as transcending the election cycle and the histrionics of an election. To Malcolm X, it was a long game.

OK. So Malcolm X saw white right-wing politicians like Trump as being not all that different from the white politicians on the left, since America is fundamentally a white-supremacist nation. And he didn't think blacks should confine our identity to national politics, since we're in a much bigger struggle. Does that mean Malcolm X might think it'd be a big waste of time to even cast a ballot against Trump in the 2016 election?
Well, he says a ballot is like bullet, and you don't waste your bullets. In other words, he thought people should organize and be very purposeful in how they vote. He thought you should vote, but just remember that voting should not be the only political act that you do. Mobilizing all of our political capital, resources, and power in one election is not a wise political move.

"We need to expand the civil rights struggle to a higher level—to the level of human rights... " —Malcolm X

I guess I've sort of taken for granted the idea that Malcolm X would be in complete opposition to Trump. But there are some things that maybe they'd agree on, like reigning in gun control? Or would he be like many modern black leaders, who want to see more gun control, because of the high rate of gun violence in black communities?
In 1964, he advocated for African Americans to own guns in order to defend themselves when the government had failed protect their lives and property. This is the context for Malcolm X's gun advocacy. So, to the degree that modern advocates of gun ownership rest their argument in the context of self-defense, there might be some convergence.

He would probably be very concerned about how regulations on the Second Amendment are deployed, considering the disproportionate focus and targeting of black communities by the law enforcement. Remember, after Malcolm X was assassinated, we saw the disproportionate incarceration of African Americans. We saw how structural inequality shaped the discourse, prosecution, conviction, and sentencing of African Americans. And a lot of this took place around discourse about stopping gang violence and crime in the black community, an effort some black lawmakers supported. Of course, these black leaders weren't calling for the criminalization of black people. Unfortunately, that is what we got. Because of this criminalization of blackness, I think Malcolm X would be weary of how new gun control laws might be disproportionately enforced in black communities.

"n the areas where the government has proven itself either unwilling or unable to defend the lives and the property of Negroes, it's time for Negroes to defend themselves." —Malcolm X

Donald Trump doesn't offer the same kind of comprehensive plans for fighting structural racism as Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton. But he is a businessman, and his supporters say he knows how to create jobs, something black folks need since unemployment is over twice as high in the black community than in for whites. How do you think Malcolm X would view all of this?
Early on, Malcolm X embraced what he called an "economic philosophy of black nationalism," which he argued was black people controlling the economies of their communities. We know now that this model works most effectively when there's a segregated market that is sort of captive. At the end of the day, black-owned businesses on a hyper local scale are not going to solve unemployment, the high incarceration rate, or disparate wealth and income inequality. Not saying it shouldn't happen—it should happen. The more economic activity African Americans can engage with on any scale is beneficial. But what we need is a structural transformation. And Malcolm X was thinking about that towards the end of his life.

Later in his life, Malcolm grew increasingly critical of capitalism. There is one interview, where he says capitalism and racism are intertwined. So if we really want to address the inequality that black people are experiencing in the US, we have to talk about the way capital is organized, accessed, and distributed. In that respect, Bernie Sanders's ability to highlight that nature of the problem is something that I think is consistent with the kinds of questions Malcolm was raising toward the end of his life.

Photo via Wikimedia Commons. Originally published in Ebony Magazine.

Malcolm X was a Muslim. It's probably very different to be a Muslim in the aftermath of 9/11 than it was in the 1950s and 60s. After all, a big part of Trump's appeal to voters is his so-called tough stance on Islam, since he frames all followers as a potential threat. How do you think Malcolm X would have viewed all that?
When Malcolm X was was well aware how much of a target the convergence of his black and muslim identity made him. He was under FBI surveillance. When he traveled, he believed he was under CIA surveillance. He was targeted because of the way he practiced and preached Islam—it was a way that increased, enhanced, and nurtured his black nationalist politics.

When he was in Mecca, he wrote that he thought Islam could help America in its race problem. Because while he was there, he saw white Muslims, and he saw how Islam could help deconstruct the racial identity that he felt was at the root of social and cultural racism. He thought that if white Americans could adopt Islam, it could break their socially constructed identities as white people, which were an impediment to equality. He saw Islam as an asset to his liberation problem as a black man in America and America's crises with race. So he would have seen the attempts to demonize Islam and Muslims as an attempt to demonize and marginalize and silence something that was beneficial to black Americans and America in general.

Of course, he could not have predicted the rise of extremists who use the religion to commit acts of violence against innocent people. What he would have said in this context, I don't know. But Malcolm X was always critical of the way America exercised its power in the world in ways that created inequalities and imbalances. So he'd probably be critical of America's role in helping foster the emergence of extremism within Muslim communities. I think he would have been very clear in his critique of the American empire. But there is no evidence that he would have embraced the violence perpetrated by someone like ISIS, who hurt other Muslims.

"The economic philosophy of black nationalism is pure and simple. It only means that we should control the economy in our community."—Malcolm X

Women aren't crazy about Donald Trump. And for good reason. A recent New York Times piece ran down some of his unwanted or aggressive advances toward women, highlighting his penchant for focusing on physical appearance. He's also perceived as having a sort of 1950s-style patriarchal perspective. And he's known for sometimes being disrespectful to women who challenge him, like Fox's Megan Kelly. Where did Malcolm X stand with women? Was he more woke than Donald Trump?
Malcolm X was not a feminist. But he was moving in a direction of seeing the valuable role women could play in the movement of liberation.

The Nation of Islam's framework for gender was pretty conservative. It was a patriarchy. And I think Malcolm X was, at times, a kind of benevolent patriarch. He felt that black women should be celebrated and black beauty should be celebrated. It was in an objectifying way, but it was done to counter the stereotypes that existed of black people. Black women had to carry the burdens of the community in many ways and had to do so without the support of the men in their lives. They had often been rejected by the men in their lives because of white-supremacist standards of beauty. Malcolm X supported black women by placing them in positions of authority after he left the NOI, and he argued to other international Muslim leaders to do the same. So, he was someone who was always rethinking views and evolving.

One of the things interesting about Donald Trump is that he's given more progressive lip service to LGTB issues than other Republican candidates. He recently said he opposed North Carolina's bathroom law, for example. Of course, he's also (at least this year) against gay marriage and has expressed support for the First Amendment Defense Act, which would allow business to discriminate based on sexual orientation. Where did Malcolm X stand on the gays?
He came out of a political religious tradition that was heteronormative. That said, Malcolm X knew James Baldwin and Bayard Rustin, and he respected them. He thought they had much value to contribute to black people. How much he knew of their sexual orientation is unclear. But I don't think they hid it. What we can say is that Malcolm seemed to be moving to the point where everyone had something to contribute to freedom, justice, and equality. How far he would have gone with that, I don't know. And how that would have come in conflict with his own personal religious ideas, I can't say. There are probably people who would say Malcolm X would be very much against the kind of public legalization and legitimacy granted to LGBT people. But whatever Malcolm X's personal views may have been about LGBT issues, it did not stop him from engaging in substantive and productive interaction with people like James Baldwin and Bayard Rustin.

"A ballot is like a bullet. You don't throw your ballots until you see a target, and if that target is not within your reach, keep your ballot in your pocket."—Malcolm X

As you said, Malcolm X looked at the black experience from a global perspective. And in terms of foreign policy, he was very critical of our interventions across the globe, including the Vietnam War. Donald Trump has this whole American First concept within his campaign. Some people label it as sort of isolationist, as it's supposed to be about about ceasing some of our interventions into the problems of other countries and turning our focus back onto the US. Do you think that's the kind of thing that would appeal to Malcolm X?
To the extent that anyone is talking about reducing America's footprint in the world—and let's be clear, that foot has typically landed on the throat of black and brown people—that is a conversation Malcolm X would have welcomed.

But this is complicated. Because if Donald Trump's view of non-interventionism is coming from a perspective of America First, Malcolm's is coming from a position of Black People First. To the degree that America First aligns with Back People First, cool. But if America First elevates black people within the US, but hurts black people abroad, I don't think that is something Malcolm X would support.

Malcolm X was not interested in Making America Great Again, he wanted to check the growth of the American empire. Trump's isolationism seems born out of a kind of nativism. Whereas the non-interventionism that Malcolm X might have embraced would have been born out of a transnational solidarity with people from other parts of the world.

How do you think Malcolm X would respond to this idea that America was ever great?
He would have appended "for white people" to that phrase. Look at the post-war economic boom in the 1950s. This is the time when America was feeling itself as a superpower. It had been the only nation to drop an atomic bomb, so it had demonstrated its military might. The level of economic activity that the war produced was astronomical. The 1950s are also a point of reference for "the good old days," because Malcolm X's 1960s represents a decade of rupture from that narrative.

The problem is that the 1950s bliss was not enjoyed by African Americans. So if you mentioned making America great again to Malcolm X, I think he would say of course America was great, but not for us.

This interview was edited for length and clarity.

All pull quotes taken from Malcolm X's "The Ballot or the Bullet" speech delivered April 3, 1964, in Cleveland, Ohio.

Zaheer Ali served as project manager of the Malcolm X Project (MXP) at Columbia University and contributed as a lead researcher for Manning Marable's Pulitzer Prize-winning Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention (2011).

For more information on Malcolm X, check out"The Autobiography of Malcolm X," "Malcolm X Speaks," "Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention,""The Portable Malcolm X Reader."

An earlier version of this article mischaracterized Malcolm X's stance on the private ownership of military grade weapons. Malcolm X was photographed in the 60s with a M1 carbine, which was a military weapon at the time.

Follow Wilbert L. Cooper on Twitter.

Image by Lia Kantrowitz

The Gerontology Research Group was founded by a guy named Dr. Stephen Coles who was obsessed with slowing or reversing aging. He didn't succeed; cancer killed him at the relatively young age of 73. However, his brain was frozen with the hope that he could continue his studies once the technology existed to upload his memory to a computer. The website dedicated to his life's work seems similarly frozen in time––an Angelfire-esque relic of web 1.0. Meanwhile, as Coles's acolytes wait for his resurrection, they're busy verifying the claims of people who say they're supercentenarians, that is, over the age of 110. Although the group doesn't seem to be hosting events any longer, they still have ambassadors all over the world digging through records as well as a network of scientists scientists trying to stave off the inevitable human end for as long as possible.

About two weeks ago, I woke up with a numbness in my hand. I interpreted this sensation to mean that I'm dying, because I'm an adult child. And naturally, as a coping mechanism, I became very interested in the GRG's research. After all, it's very calming to read about a lady who smoked cigarettes for a literal century and maintained a pulse until she was 122.

Eventually I decided to confront my mortal terror even more directly by calling the director of the GRG's research and database division. Robert Young (real name) was a kid who corrected people's grammar at the age of two and then grew into the kind of adult who brags about his former precociousness in conversation. But he also has an obsessive mind when it comes to statistics and knows more about death than anyone alive. My hypochondria wasn't cured through our chat, but the gerontologist did teach me about the maximum human lifespan and what getting older means on a cellular level, as well as the story of the woman they call the "Michael Jordan of aging."

VICE: Have you always been interested in studying super old people, even as a kid?
Robert Young: The fact of the matter is that I became interested in this when I was a small child––about three-and-a-half. My great-great uncle was a World War I veteran and he passed away, and basically what happened was I asked my mother why he died, and she said, "Well, because he was old." So I thought in my mind that if old people died first, I wanna be friends with the old people so I can remember them while they're still here. And his wife, my great-great aunt, was 85 at the time, and she ended up living to 96 years, 361 days old. And that really kind of made me upset, because she died just four days short of 97. So I went from being interested in the maximum life span to more specifically keeping track of ages.

I got my first Guinness Book of World Records at the age of 10. Most of the oldest people were female, except for the title holder, who was a male, and he was 118. And no one else was older than 113. Something didn't look right. That got me interested in age validation, and later it turned out he was actually 15 years younger.

What's the goal of the GRG? Do you want to live forever?
So basically at the moment it has two main departments. One is run by the successor of Dr. Coles, who founded the GRG in 1990 and passed away in 2014 at the age of––unfortunately––only 73. The goal was for other scientists to get together and discuss the aging process and discuss potential treatments for the aging process. The idea at the time was that Western medicine was too focused on treating the symptoms of aging and not focused on treating the causes of aging. The idea was that if you put a bunch of bright minds together, you would get good results.

What's the history of age validation?
It started in the 1800s with life insurance policies. Actuaries were trying to figure out how long people lived to calculate rate for those policies. Except for the small niche field of actuarial research, very little research was done into supercentenarians.

There was no database when the GRG decided to start keeping track in 1998. About 1 in 5 million people in the US are 110 and older, and before the internet came along there was no way to assemble someone that rare into data groups. But when the internet came along, we could get information from all over the world, and it became viable to study them as a population group. Things have changed so fast since the GRG went online in 1995, almost 21 years ago. Smart phones came around 2007, 2008. Go back to 2004 and Ancestry.com only had 20 percent of the US census data online. Go back to 2000 and if you wanted to find a document on an extremely old person, you had to use the old hand-crank newsreel. Wow. It could take hours upon hours to look on every line of every page.

I feel like there's a story every month about the world's oldest person dying. Are you ever like "Oh shit, how'd we miss her?" Or do you ever see people being reported on that you know are liars?
So here's the thing. There's a misconception that the world's oldest person dies all the time. Not true. Since Guinness started keeping track in 1955, the average length of reign has been about 1.06 years. Part of the problem though is that we do have unverified claims of people saying they're older than the oldest person and that gets reported by the media. If you go online you can look up Typologies of Extreme Longevity Myths, a study of Social Security Administration data showed that over 98 percent claims turned out to be false. And the US data is among the best in the world. So you can imagine if you're trying to look at places like Nigeria and Pakistan where 110 years ago, those records did not exist.

You also get what's called the longevity myth, which is where people's imaginations exceed reality. So if you don't have a record of when you're born and you're going to guesstimate your age, and after the age of 80, people begin to inflate their age. Before 80, people understate their age. I think this is because of youth, vanity. But when people reach the point that age is something you don't wanna hide and be proud of––usually this involves the great grandmothers or the oldest person in the village––then it becomes a source of pride. The other thing is there's a fear of death. To hear a story about how there's a 130-year-old living out in the woods in the middle of nowhere sounds great.

Give it to me straight. What is the longest I could possibly live?
Scientifically speaking, the odds of anyone ever living to 127 at the moment are one in a trillion, which means it's not happening. Living to anywhere between 115 and 120, you have what I call "probable impossible," I'd say there's about a 1 percent chance, but there's still a possibility. Between 120 and 127, the odds of surviving really begin to disappear totally. When we look at the statistics, we have currently 2,500 cases of people 110 plus. Of those, by the age of 118, only two. When you're going from 2,500 to two in just eight years, to me that's scary. That's just that there's a maximum life span. The death result is much higher than random chance––if you got hit by a bus, got shot, got sick. There must be a biological component. And studies show that there's a maximum life span for every mammal that's different. The oldest cat was 38. The oldest dog was about 30. The oldest mouse was four. The oldest elephant was 78. The oldest human was 122. Whales seem to live longer than humans. The oldest one on record was 211. Tortoises live to about 200.

Don't lobsters live forever or something?
Here's the thing. Some species such as lobsters and clams manage to get around aging by continuing to grow. Clams add a ring each year, lobsters continue to grow larger. Humans stop growing between 20 and 25. Most species stop growing and start aging. Then it becomes an issue of what your biological time clock is set to.

Humans seem to have a warranty period of about 100 years. The average cell divides every two years. Cells divide about 50 times. To get to 115, you'd have to age about 15 percent slower than normal. Basically, Jeanne Calment, who lived to be 122, was called the Michael Jordan of aging. The point was that all the practice in the world isn't going to make you play basketball like Michael Jordan. OK? On the other hand, if Michael Jordan never practiced, he wouldn't be as good as he was. So you have to fulfill your potential by trying to do the best you can do, but at the same time, you can't make yourself a longevity star.

Earlier you mentioned that we should focus on treating aging itself rather than symptoms. I don't think I even know what aging is.
That is an issue. Scientists don't agree on what aging is. You have the entropic metabolic processes resulting in accumulated damage due to inefficient operation over time. So there's intrinsic aging, which means biological aging, and external aging, which is effects. For example, you're more likely to age faster if you're in the sunlight all the time. That's a secondary effect. You're more likely to age faster if you smoke cigarettes.

Right now 48 of the 50 oldest people to have ever lived were women. Why?
Some ideas in the past came around that were discredited. For example, they said that it was about menopause and hormones. What we've found from the data at the GRG is that women outlive men at every age, including in the womb. Males are conceived at a ratio of about 125 to 100 over females by birth. This is biological compensation. Male fetuses have a higher mortality rate. Males outnumber females by about 105 to 100. The greater mortality rate means by about age 13, women are equal to men. This seems to be a biological effect. There's a concept called the Double X hypothesis. The Y chromosome is much smaller, and the vast majority of your DNA profile is around X. Normally, if a man has a mistake on the first X, like the genetic defect for colorblindness, he's basically toast. He's going to be colorblind. But on a woman, they are much less likely to be colorblind because they would have to have the mistake on both X's, so they get two chances to get it right as opposed to just one.

What countries have the oldest people? Is there a diet or lifestyle or place that has a particularly high concentration of supercentenarians?
The maximum human life span is the same everywhere. When Susannah Mushatt Jones passed away on May 12, she was 116. And the oldest person in Europe was 116. The oldest person in Japan was 115. Very close together. Although the US doesn't have anybody who's 116 at the moment. The oldest person in North America lives in Jamaica and is 116. What we see is variation by region is very small.

There is some variation based on environment and lifestyle issues. You can add two or three years or minus. Supercentenarians tends to do better in warmer climates. It's interesting––Sweden hasn't had anyone yet over the age of 113. Places like the Carribbean, South Japan, South Europe, the Meditterraen tend to do well. But you have to understand, we're relying on the record systems of these places from 110 years ago and approximately 98 percent of the records available are going to be from regions like North America, Europe, South America, Australia, Japan. There are vast regions of the world that had no records or almost no records––for example, Saudi Arabia. Some of the rulers of Saudi Arabia in the past didn't have birth records. China had birth registration by the 1950s, so by the 2060s, we're going to see some good data from China.

I don't think I could find my birth certificate if I had to. If I live to be old, how would you verify my age?
A lot of the records are online. The key today is making sure the person alive is the person in the birth record. So basically, we need three keys for validation. One at or near the birth event. We need unique identifiers that allow you to identify the person in the birth record with the person alive today. We want recent identification showing the person and what they look like. And we want a mid-life record, such as a marriage certificate or a war record or something like that to help flesh out the story. If the person stayed in the same town for most of their life, if they stayed connected with their family, if they show up in census matches, it can be fairly easy to validate that the person alive today is in the person in the birth record. If the person disappeared off the grid, it becomes a problem.

Do you get the sense that it's even worth living that long? Is there any quality of life at 115?
I've probably met over 50 who are 110 plus. It can vary. One of the things that's clear to me is that you can't put them all in one category. We had one woman who was 116 who lived in her own home, she could walk with a walker, she ate Wendy's, she watched TV, she could do an interview. That's the ultimate extreme case of living well and hanging out with the great, great grandkids. On the other hand, we had a woman who was confined to bed for 21 hours a day, awake for only three, unable to get up. That's a sad situation where maybe it's not worth it. Most people are somewhere in the middle. One more thing I wanna say is that the people who live the oldest are in the best shape. So almost everybody that lives to be 115 was living on their own at 100. So we need to get rid of this idea of, "I'm going to be 30 years in a nursing home." It's not like that.

What kills people who are that old?
Pneumonia is a big killer for 115 plus. Scientists don't wanna say this, but in many cases, it's just the aging process itself. There are times when they are simply in their room and fall asleep and never wake up.

I read on your website that Dr. Coles was frozen. What's the deal with that?
His brain was frozen. Well the idea is that in the future, we may be able to upload people's memories on a computer. The technology doesn't currently exist for that. So if you freeze the person's brain, you might be able to encode the memories maybe 100 years from now.

Is that something you're interested in?
I'm not sure yet. One thing you have to understand is that it's probably $100,000 . I think in Dr. Cole's case the Alcor Life Extension Foundation agreed to preserve his brain. Dr. Coles was involved in so many different fields––robotics, artificial intelligence. So looking at it from that perspective, if you're going to preserve a great mind, why not have it be someone like Dr. Coles?

So the absolute maximum human age is 122, right? And in my lifetime, will I see that increase?
The observed ceiling is 122. Scientists have calculated that if you have 100 hypothetical universes, and the total number of persons whose births, deaths, and other records were recorded in vital statistics 110 plus years ago was over 800 million, the odds of one person reaching 122 was about 13 percent. Which means there was only a one in seven chance that Jeanne Calment would happen. Which is not that extreme. But the bottom line is that it was more likely not to happen. But I would say 125 is the realistic estimate for the limit, and 127 is possible if everything went right. It could happen in the future.

No mammal species has broken through the maximum life span barriers with the help of scientists. Only fruit flies. It's going to take a lot more research to get to that. But beyond scientific breakthroughs, a person living today has a better life trajectory than the person who lived 110 year ago. Susannah Mushatt Jones, who was 116, was born into a segregated world in Alabama. Her family used the barter system. They were extremely poor. They didn't have decent health care. So I think that we're still going to see gains because people in the past who didn't have these benefits managed to live to 116. With these benefits, I think you could add another five, or even seven years.

Follow Allie Conti on Twitter.